I found you. It is so encouraging for me to read all your posts. My beautiful daughter is now a very active almost two-year old.
In May of 2002, I was 33 weeks, 5 days when I started to feel pain between the top of my two rib cages. I was being followed by Family Practice physicians, since I was considered low risk (healthy, exercising, etc). The first pain came on a Monday evening, and I made an appointment to see a doc Tuesday morning. We are a military family, so my usual doc was on assignment somewhere else. When I was seen, my first bp was a little high, so he took it manually, which resulted in a lower number. I had had a level 3 ultrasound done three weeks prior and was told that she was measuring about 2 1/2 to 3 weeks small, but that it was ok, since ultrasounds done this late can be wrong. Additionally, we discovered that she was lying sideways. SO, this Tuesday morning, he did another ultrasound and found her head was pointing downward. He said the pain was from her shifting positions and my small frame (i'm 5'2"). So, I took this as the cause. No bloodwork, no urine, nothing. To make a long story short, I continued to have pain for two weeks, not sleeping, eating, drinking, nothing. In these two weeks, I saw another doctor and called the labor deck at least twice and was told it was all sorts of stuff...indigestion, you name it.
Finally, I could take it no more. We went to the Labor deck and there was an OB on call. She saved my life. She told me I had HELLP syndrome, showing all the classic bloodwork signs, as well as the pain. I was 35w, 5days and she induced me. I tried to deliver vaginally, but my body did not cooperate and finally she did a C-section. She told my family that I was very close to dying and that we had been lucky. Liliana, my daughter, weighed 3 lbs. 12 ounces at birth, which was termed IUGR. From what I have learned, this probably means my placenta was suffering as well.
Ok, almost done...then a week later I developed fevers, then severe body aches (which were so frustrating, because I couldn't take care of my weeks-old daughter as I wanted to). Every test imaginable and two weeks in the hospital couldn't figure it out. Finally, I was diagnosed with Lupus. Ok, so flash forward almost two years...my disease is very inactive, I'm feeling great. I'm negative for all the bad blood stuff that relates to children as far as the Lupus goes (anti-coagulant disorders, anti-ro and la). So, I am feeling my way into wanting another baby. But my family is soooo afraid. But I see some of your stories and how YOU CAN have more children. It's confusing, but I really feel like I want to try. AM I CRAZY? Or is this a normal feeling? Any input would be very much appreciated!!!
From the day my daughter was born, for a while, every emotion there is passed through my being. But what I concluded is that my daughter is here and doing great and that is what matters most. That we should never take our bodies for granted, because we don't know what we have until it isn't ours any longer. And that we are given strength and courage when it is needed, and not before, because we might lose it before we need it.
Thank you for letting me get this out and for reading this. I appreciate you all, even though I just started to get to know you.
Ingrid, mama to "Lana" (5/26/02)