Hello everyone I survived but my baby did not

[cakesabake]

My due date was Aug 21, 2010, but on July 11, 2010....I thought I was going into pre-term labor when in fact I was suffering from HELLP Syndrome (I was not once during my pregnancy diagnosed with Preeclampsia). I am devastated but I am starting to cope better with all that has happened.
Due to the fact that I had to have a C-section, my husband and I were told to wait a while longer before trying to start to concieve again. Now that it is Oct. I am really feeling ready to try again... Unfortunately my blood pressure is still not really stabalized and I am currently taking Labetalol (anyone else taking this).
I truly feel ready to start going through the entire pregnancy process, again but my husband is afraid for my life :-( Ugh this is such a tough thing...

[riehlism]

So sorry for you loss. There are some instances where women go into HELLP without having preeclampsia. It's a messy and confusing disease. I'm in a similar boat. I am ready to try again but my husband is still working in his grief. We lost our son in June and I had a classical C-section. We are attending grief counseling, together at first, but now we are going separately because we seem to be processing the grief differently.

From my perspective I was dealing with the loss of our son. But from my husband's perspective, it was the loss of our son and almost losing me. I've had a hard time with it because I'm so ready to try again. But I'm giving him the space he needs in the mean time.

Educate yourself in the mean time: learning about PE and HELLP, getting tested for underlying disorders, hook up with an MFM to run a thrombophilia panel on you so you know what the future looks like, etc. Welcome and good luck.

[cakesabake]

My husband and I are also getting therapy together...it helps!
What does a Thrombaphilia panel consist of...I am so tired of blood-work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am seeing a Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist now. They also will be monitoring my next pregnancy along with my OB. They honestly gave me the green light to get pregnant again, but my husband wants my body to completely physically recover and for me to get more fit (which I originally said I would before we tried again) I just want to be a mommy so bad now, more than ever before :-(

[l412angel]

I am so sorry for your loss :( I felt so desperate to be a mommy too after losing Cara. I did wait 6 months to start trying due to abnormal blood work and high protein in urine etc...Hopefully you will get some answers from your MFM!!

[kerisue]

Autumn, I'm so sorry that baby RJ didn't make it. My baby died in July too. My arms felt so empty after that I wanted to start again right away, but am trying to let myself heal physically and emotionally and properly grieve Millie before trying again. I'm still taking labetalol too like you. Good luck with the whole process and ttc again.

[evancaleb10]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my sweet angel on 08-23-10 at 33 weeks from severe HELLP (i was never diagnosed with preeclampsia during the pregnancy either). I totally feel you because i think my desire to have a baby is 10x greater now since losing the baby than ever before. My husband too is fearful for my life and the recurrence of this again. I think time will change his mind. We have to give our husbands time to emotionally heal completely. I will never know what my husband experienced that night when he learned he lost our son and that my life was still in danger. Its going to take time.
I'm also on BP meds, 4 of them! Labetalol is one of them. I still experience daily headaches though i think its a side effect of the BP meds. Praying for God's peace and grace, keep the faith.

[kbielec]

I am so sorry for your loss. I too survived and my baby did not. The interesting thing for me is, my husband was with me when the doctors gave us the green light to try again, and he's ready...I am the one that gets so nervous and is so on the fence. We are TTC now, and not being careful but I am finding I have a lot more anxiety then he does. It's such a sticky situation...hang in there!