Well, 6 years after my first HELLP experience and 4 years after the second, coupled with TTP - we are ready to try again. The thing I am battling the most is the negativity that surrounds me. I know that guilt is self inflicted, but I feel so guilty at times, like I am letting my children down. I feel that the doctors are equipped with my previous experiences (the knowledge), but that i know my body well enough to know the signs. Am I crazy?