Empty Arms

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support

Empty Arms

Postby josiah1112 » Sat Dec 27, 2003 09:23 am


For those of you out there that have lost babies. - How
have you been able to bear it? Sometimes the loss seems
so unbearable... I think of my baby often. I know he is
in a better place but I wish so much he were with me!
I have a supportive husband and I try to maintain a
spiritual perspective...But it hurts so much. I would
appreciate any responses. Thank You!

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03 - 12/4/03 born at
26 weeks PE

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Re : Empty Arms

Postby sjs40 » Sat Dec 27, 2003 11:03 am

I know just how you feel. Ellie should have been here for her 1st Christmas, instead we put flowers on her grave on Christmas Day. No words can begin to describe how that felt. We are here for each other, but we feel the pain differently. I dreamt about Ellie last night, she was kicking me....she only did that for about 3wks before she arrived. I don't know why I suddenly dreamt that last night, but I did, and it woke me up then I had a sleepless night. It does hurt a lot.
Sue


Sue (40)
Chris (37)
DD Eleanor Susan (Ellie)
born at 27wks severe PE
24 July 03 - 20 August 03
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Re : Empty Arms

Postby lisac » Sat Dec 27, 2003 12:07 am

Hi Gloria,
It's been a little over a year since we lost our baby girl at 24 wks. At first the pain was unbearable, and I had terrible fear that the hurting would never go away. It was like being forever lost in a deep abyss of sorrow, darkness and anxiety. A few wks after the loss, I ventured outside for the first time to take a walk. A little girl who had just learned to walk thought I was her mommy. She left her dad & came running towards me w/excitement screaming, "hi mommy." Very strange. For a while, I had fear of facing people who knew I was expecting. I refused to go into the neighborhood market for months. (My poor husband did all the shopping). Slowly, though, I became more comfortable, and less afraid that I'd have a complete breakdown discussing what happened.
What really helped me was finding an excellent therapist. I needed a place to go once a week and just cry & talk about it. My friends were supportive, especially in the beginning, but they felt helpless. How could they know what to say? The other thing that really helped, of course, was/is this forum. I feel such kinship with those who have gone through this. If I ever meet any of you, I'll feel like we're old cronies from the war! Most importantly, what has helped is the sense of spirituality that has grown so much out of this tragedy. I've been profoundly changed because of that little spirit that lived within me for 5 1/2 months. Hidden away in all the grief and misery, strangely, are gifts that emerge as time passes. I still grieve for her...always will have a place for her. I thought I would be her parent & teacher, but she is teaching me still.
Feel free to e-mail any time if you feel like it...mandala@pacbell.net
Lisa
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Re : Empty Arms

Postby sweetiesuzy » Sat Dec 27, 2003 12:45 am

Lisa put it so beautifully.
You are so new in your grief. Let yourself have time to feel whatever you need to. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Each day may feel different. You are forever changed because of your precious baby. It is the hardest thing I have experienced in my life. Our children are not supposed to die before we are. It plain hurts. But it will change. Your pain will evolve and become something within you that is irreplaceable. It just takes time - lots of time -
I am so sorry for your loss and I am thinking of you and sending BIG HUGS your way.
Suzanna

DS 3/25/95
DD 10/26/01 stillbirth
DS 12/30/02
AND ~ Peanut edd 8/6/04
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Re : Empty Arms

Postby anjali » Tue Jan 13, 2004 03:46 pm

The grief is unbearable and yet it slowly becomes a part of you.
I lost my 6 week old daugther almost two months ago. I have just started functioning (returned to work this week) and it is very hard.

Although I too am still in the middle of the darkness, my husband and I were just mentioning how our need to believe we will be happy again has returned to us.

I agree with the other posts, tragedies such as the loss of an infant deserve the grief and time to heal. Please visit my daughter's memorial website at www.amaani.org.

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Re : Empty Arms

Postby taras mom » Wed Jan 14, 2004 01:21 am

Gloria, although it's been a year, I still miss my little Tara every day. That's what moms do! You will always be Josiah's mom, and someday you will see him again. Some days are harder than others, but overall it gets easier with time. Take care of yourself!

Carol (38)
DH Bill (40)
Tara Mairichi
12/7-12/9, 2002
The Mightiest Little Angel
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Re : Empty Arms

Postby josiah1112 » Sun Jan 18, 2004 03:49 pm

Sorry everyone. Please read what I shared under - New Topic- I
pressed it by accident. Thanks, Gloria



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Re : Empty Arms

Postby josiah1112 » Sun Jan 18, 2004 03:51 pm

Sorry everyone. Please read what I shared under - New Topic- I
pressed it by accident. Thanks, Gloria



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