Post Reply FAQ Members Login

I need help planning a memorial service.

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support

I need help planning a memorial service.

Postby sharonda » Fri Apr 09, 2004 07:07 pm

by sharonda (37 Posts), Fri Apr 09, 2004 07:07 pm

My husband and I went to our therapist today and she talked to us about having a memorial service for Amaya. We have been avoiding this for so long but she feels it is time to start thinking about what we want to do. I am lost. I have no idea what to do. We had her cremated and the funeral home has been holding her ashes for us. We could not bear to bring her home that way.

We had her in January and her due date is June and we have decided to have her memorial in May. I do not want to bury her in a cemetary. I would like some suggestions on what I should do. I want it to be special and intimate (small).
sharonda
Registered User
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2004 09:28 pm

Re : I need help planning a memorial service.

Postby sjs40 » Sat Apr 10, 2004 03:25 am

by sjs40 (288 Posts), Sat Apr 10, 2004 03:25 am

Ellie was cremated after a close family only short ceremony. We brought Ellie's ashes home with us while we were finalising details for her resting place. While we were at the funeral directors we mentioned that we didnt want Ellie to be in a cemetary and they suggested a place that had just opened nearby. It is a memorial gardens and is a beautiful place with gardens, streams and a lake, it is very peaceful and just right for Ellie. We knew it was the right place when we realised the land around it was called 'Eleanor's Wood' - Ellie was Christened 'Eleanor'. We chose her resting place and ordered her stone, then when all was ready Chris and I buried Ellie's casket ourselved. It was just us, and our little girl. It may not be for everybody, but it was right for us.

Sue

Sue (40)
Chris (37)
DD Eleanor Susan (Ellie)
born at 27wks severe PE
24 July 03 - 20 August 03
sjs40
Registered User
 
Posts: 288
Joined: Fri Oct 17, 2003 01:22 pm

Re : I need help planning a memorial service.

Postby angelkat » Sat Apr 10, 2004 06:01 am

by angelkat (3423 Posts), Sat Apr 10, 2004 06:01 am

Katlyne was 3 1.2 months old when she passed away... We had a memorial service at church which included priase & worship songs, then a short sermon. It was then followed by a tribute (made by the funeral home for us). We then had a receiption. Followed by a two day travel to burry Katlyne in my DH homestate(military and not near our homestates). It's an 7 hour drive to see Katlyne which I just hate that it's so far away.

We did receive on of the best gift .... One of our friends planted a tree in Katlyne names at a local park. It came along with a stone with her name. Anytime, I am thinking of her I can easily go to the park and sit next to her tree.

Only one can decide on what they would like to do, I think the simple things are best. (I didn't really know what was planned for Katlyne - my DH and Pastor had it all planned for me as I was in no condition to plan anything.)Which in a way, I was glad I had enough trouble just getting myself up and to the services....

Hugs
~T

Mommy to
Drew(13)
Ky (11)
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03) and little bud (Due 09/11/04)http://www.forevernetwork.com/Archive/lifestory.cfm?Archive_ID=10971&Directory=%2FArchives%2FMountHope&CFID=1089289&CFTOKEN=79068509
angelkat
Registered User
 
Posts: 3423
Joined: Thu May 08, 2003 10:26 am

Re : I need help planning a memorial service.

Postby kimb » Sun Apr 11, 2004 10:00 am

by kimb (140 Posts), Sun Apr 11, 2004 10:00 am

We too had William cremated and we still have him home with us. Neither of us have family in cemetaries anywhere near - and we didn't want him to be alone. We found a beautiful marble urn for him that is like a baby block with ABC's, 123's on the sides and an etched baby angel on another. Then there was a side where we had his name and bday etched - and a message from mommy and daddy. We didn't have an official service, but we asked friends and family if they had any small things they wanted to put in with his ashes. So in with him he has pictures of his grandparents and mommy and daddy, a prayer from my best friend that she says for him, sone other small mementos from friends and the lyrics to the song "Godspeed" from the Dixie Chicks which I sang to him before putting it in. Mike and I made it special and meaningful for us and we have him here with us.

It was hard bringing his ashes home, especially with how little ashes their was (I wasn't prepared for that). But having a special place for him and being able to talk with him whenever I need has been good for us.

Kim 35
William Michael - my angel - pe/HELLP 7/7/03
kimb
Registered User
 
Posts: 140
Joined: Fri Aug 22, 2003 03:00 pm

Re : I need help planning a memorial service.

Postby josiah1112 » Mon Apr 12, 2004 10:09 am

by josiah1112 (1368 Posts), Mon Apr 12, 2004 10:09 am

Hi ShaRonda,

We planned a ceremony in our home. We got together
with our church leader beforehand to discuss the format.
My husband and I agreed on just having our closest friends
with us. It's important that you have an idea of what
will be helpful to YOU. We also chose dedication songs:
The song from the Titanic (I forget the name) everyone
was balling. Before this they had played- the children's
song version of "This Little Light of Mine" It was shared
how Josiah had become a member of EVERYONE'S family during
the time I was in the hospital and he was later in the NICU.
Everyone seemed to be praying and fasting for him. The
children of the congregation had their hearts so invested
that some of the parent's were later scared to tell them
that Josiah had passed. Anyway, I share to give you ideas.
I wish you and your husband many blessing with this.



Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e
josiah1112
Registered User
 
Posts: 1368
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2003 09:50 pm


Return to Grief and Loss

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests