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Jealousy and the New Big Sister


Jealousy and the New Big Sister

Postby timelessbeauty » Thu Mar 17, 2005 05:57 am

I can see it coming. I have a 16 month old baby girl here at home and a 10.5 yr old going to school each day for right now until school ends. This boy is due in May and I can see it coming. I am currently flooded with requests to read "Goodnight Piggyboo" and "Little Quack Plays Hide and Seek". If I am not carefully aware of my surroundings at the time, the book may land squarely in my forehead as a request. I love the fact that she is so interested in books but can see the separation anxiety starting right now. I got out of the car to walk one of our girl scout troop members to her door the other night and I heard the wail of crying coming from the car because I had vacated my seat next to her. Never mind the fact that Daddy and big sister were still in the car with her and the music she so loves was still going.

I am turning a little fearful of the "jealousy" that I may be encouraging by not tackling these small problems now. I know it's normal for her to want Mama now that she actually calls me that versus Daddy or UUUhhhh. I worry about how to handle when I have to breastfeed her brother and she wants mommy and daughter time. She does do a lot of play on her own here during the day so I am not a constant attachment to her side. Maybe it will all fall into place and she will be more facinated with the new baby brother to worry about attention loss, I can only hope. I am willing to take suggestions from anyone who has faced this dilema in their own families.

I've gotten her to go to bed regularly with the sound of her Fisher Price aquarium crib toy. She loves the sound of the rain and it seems to do the trick just beautifully to get her to go to bed. We had a week of frustration in trying to learn that bedtime was bedtime and she was going down to bed without being rocked or having food/bottle. My mother is more than happy to take care of her while we are in the hospital which is a BIG help. I just want to make sure I haven't created a monster for her to handle. So the bedtime routine should help ease transition for the few days I'm gone.

My goodness I believe she is going into a growth spurt as well. She is drinking more milk/soy and eating more table food than before. She actually almost finished a full Gerber Graduate Spaghetti and Mini Meatball meal for the first time and napped for 3 hours in the AM and then 1 hour in the evening. Normally the 3 hour nap would suffice until bedtime. She napped from 7-8pm, woke up happy, played and then went down no problem at 10pm usual time. What was interesting was her getting up this morning. She woke up with a screeching cry and then started laughing when she saw that I was startled awake by her abrupt call.

My poor husband and his knee. He got up at 2:30am and couldn't get back to sleep due to the pain in his kneecap. He took his medicine, used the TENS unit for a bit and put on a cryocuff to help ice down the inflamation. He had a good work out at the PT session yesterday which I know would bring about a bit more pain but this is almost like post surgery pain. We shall put a call into the doctor to see if this is normal or if maybe something was missed. I trust the doctor debrided all he was suppose to, just hoping this pain in the kneecap goes away in a short time. Prior to his workout, he seemed to have been having a great day.

Well, it's almost time for Baby Story on TLC. I'm a sucker for that program now. Matter of fact, I'm getting anxious to meet our little one now. I keep seeing these women having babies on tv and now I'm thinking like Jennifer Aniston's character on Friends. "Everyone is going before me, it's MY turn next!" LOL In due time I will have this munchkin and it will be when he's ready I hope. But I prepare myself for a possible induction just like the rest.

Have a great day all and I hope to hear from anyone with suggestions for me on handling two little ones at home. I look forward to being the mother of three but I do worry about how to handle some of the challenges.

TB
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Re : Jealousy and the New Big Sister

Postby timelessbeauty » Fri Mar 18, 2005 04:37 am

Love of Books versus Forehead

My youngest daughter who is just barely 16 months old loves for us to read her books. But if you are not paying attention to the request and you are low enough to her level, you may just be snapped alert by a book being handed to your forehead for reading. She has this wonderful curiosity about the world and loves stories. And her unique way of holding the books high over her head and perchance, smacking you in forehead with a request is cute, although sometimes insistant.

She has recently found out that her old car seat, the infant style, makes for a great chair when she feels like reading her books on her own. I love to hear that soft voice making all kinds of conversational sounds in an attempt to read the story the way the rest of her family reads it to her. She looks so relaxed when she's in her "reading chair" aka infant car seat.

This mornings wake up was kinder on Mommy's system than yesterday's. She got up mildly talking to herself without even peeking over the top of the crib yet. It was enough of a conversation that while I was getting myself dressed, a curious big sister popped into the room to collect her younger sister for a breakfast of toast being served downstairs. As I find out now, being downstairs myself, my husband is home today due to more pain in his surgical knee. I called his physical therapist yesterday while my dh was at work to find out if this is something of concern to talk to the doctor about or if it was just a result of a harsh PT session that needs some rest. Our PT guru said it was just a harsher session than the ones before and to rest up .. he will take it slightly easier on him for today's session but dh should rest up inbetween. I am now thinking I am glad it's not my knee. lol

I tried working some more on the baby afghan I started awhile back for this new little addition to come. It's a pretty bright yellow with popcorn puffs to it worked in crochet. I remember years ago when my eldest daughter was only 4 months old and I taught myself to crochet. I thought all the pretty baby afghans were done in crochet and I wanted to make one for my daughter. After 11 tries of sitting down with a book made for kids to learn, I won the battle over the stitches! And have been merrily crocheting baby blankies, preemie infant hats, and stuffed animals ever since. Well, breakfast calls and I am hungry, or is it my 'alter ego' that is hungry? My digestive system seems to be ruled by another driving force these days. And Thank GOD for Pepcid/Acid Reducer because if the old wive's tale is true, this kids getting a LOT of hair! My poor throat has been burning for over a month and a half now.

I wish all the mommmies out there, the ones to be and the ones already, a great day and lots of love!

TB
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Re : Jealousy and the New Big Sister

Postby kdreher » Fri Mar 18, 2005 09:19 am

I don't have much advice on this...but why not read a bit of Dr. Phil's Family First - if you like him. He really does have a way of making some great points with family issues. Just a suggestion. Sending you lots of luck...hey you can always send the 16 month old to me to keep for a long while, that way I'll have my baby and my girl!!!! (just kidding :-))

Kris (35) & Tom (35)
Connecticut

My Angel - Tyler 3/9/95 to 3/23/95 (15 oz, 26 wks severe pe/HELLP)
Tubal Ligation 2/2000
Tubal Reversal 10/2004
Miscarriage 1/05



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Re : Jealousy and the New Big Sister

Postby timelessbeauty » Fri Mar 18, 2005 12:39 am

I listen to Dr. Phil on his tv program and make my own judgements from there. He does have some good ideas and some practical hard nosed advice. If I had a spare kid to give you .. I'd ask you to move closer to share .. can't have, paws off LOL ..

I wish you luck if you are going to continue to try for another one. It's not too late and I will send you all the good prayers I have to offer Kris!

Sue
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