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so encouraged...

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support

so encouraged...

Postby josiah1112 » Sun Feb 29, 2004 04:44 pm

by josiah1112 (1368 Posts), Sun Feb 29, 2004 04:44 pm

Last night, my husband and I went to a party. It was
thrown by one of the couples from the bereavement group
that we have been going to. It's amazing the bond we have.
We were asked to bring a dish that started with the name
of our deceased child. I took Jello. (J- Josiah)
At one point the host called all of the mommies into
her room and shared 2 songs- Heaven Holds the one's I
love by Anita Whittaker and Streets of Heaven by Sherry
Austin. We then got a chance to just talk and share how
we were doing and get some help too. It was great.[:D]
If any of you is contemplating going to one of these
groups I would encourage you to. It helps to know that
one is not alone. Our friends sometimes mean well, but have
no idea how to encourage us.

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03 - 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e

PS You may want to check out the following movies that
according to my friend are excellent (on bereavement):
Seasons of the Heart and Beyond Deaths Door. I think
your public library may have them as opposed to the local video
store.
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Re : so encouraged...

Postby lisac » Mon Mar 01, 2004 07:58 pm

by lisac (247 Posts), Mon Mar 01, 2004 07:58 pm

Hi Gloria,

Thanks for sharing your positive experience. I agree with you that meeting with other women/couples who have lost a baby can be very therapeutic. I'm glad that you've connected with such a great group of people :)

Take Care,
Lisa
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Re : so encouraged...

Postby amillhouse » Tue Mar 02, 2004 03:00 pm

by amillhouse (587 Posts), Tue Mar 02, 2004 03:00 pm

Thanks, Gloria and Lisa! I have to second that. My husband went to our first bereaved parent support group tonite and it was great. We felt odd when we first walked in because on the one hand everyone was saying how we didn't have to share if we weren't ready and how we were so brave to come after only two weeks since Isaiah's passing - on the other hand they were sort of in-your-face with compassion! But we got settled and talked and shared with other parents. We really felt good and my husband also opened up a lot with others which was fabulous. Our groups is for bereaved parents who have lost children of any age - but there is no discrimination. Any I really saw that grief has nothing to do with the child's age but that it is a process that we will all get through differently, but we can get there together.


Anika
Mommy to Isaiah (angel) 1/20/04 - 2/17/04
28 weeks 1 day gestation
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Re : so encouraged...

Postby kdreher » Wed Mar 03, 2004 05:15 pm

by kdreher (2482 Posts), Wed Mar 03, 2004 05:15 pm

Gloria,
How I wish back in 1995 I would have found the courage and strength to find a bereavement group. Four months after Tyler's death I simply walked away from my life and my husband. I have never forgotten that I hurt him in probably the worst way. I ran from my grief and have been to a therapist off an on to deal with it over the years. Your group sounds very supportive and you are lucky to have them when you need them the most.

Kris (34)
DH, Tom (33)
Tyler 3-9-95 to 3-23-95 (26 wks pe/HELLP)

tkstevens@sbcglobal.net or kstevens@cga.uscg.mil
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Re : so encouraged...

Postby josiah1112 » Wed Mar 03, 2004 08:23 pm

by josiah1112 (1368 Posts), Wed Mar 03, 2004 08:23 pm

Kris,

You have been through so much... It must have been so hard to
deal with that all alone... I guess we try and run away from
our grief in different ways. My husband became so passionate about
relocating. I "jumped on the bandwagon" ... I felt like there was no better time than this to just do it.I also needed some new found hope that I could face the future. Right after my son passed all I wanted to do was die. Every day I would ask God to please take my husband and I so that we could be with Josiah. It actuallybecame a "joke" among my friends and I - When I would call them or they
would call me I would report to them that, "I was Still alive".
Losing our babies is the hardest thing we will probably ever go through...
Thinking of You...
Please feel free to e-mail through the forum if you would like.


PS Anika- I'm so glad you & your husband went to the group.
You will bond in an incredible way. We said goodbye to our friends from the group tonight (since we will be relocating) We have such a strong bond. I suspect we will always be in each others hearts. I also suspect we will be life-long friends. My husband already invited one of the couples to our future new home.

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03 - 12/4/03 @ 26 wks pre e
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Re : so encouraged...

Postby kdreher » Thu Mar 04, 2004 05:28 am

by kdreher (2482 Posts), Thu Mar 04, 2004 05:28 am

Gloria,
I think I ran because I had to 'relocate'. It was selfish of me to do that to my son's father...I can't take it back now. Getting a fresh start might be what some people need. No matter where our littles ones are (Tyler is in PA with my grandparents)...they are in our hearts and minds forever. I'm glad God chose to keep you here...[:)]

Kris (34)
DH, Tom (33)
Tyler 3-9-95 to 3-23-95 (26 wks pe/HELLP)

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Re : so encouraged...

Postby josiah1112 » Thu Mar 04, 2004 08:55 am

by josiah1112 (1368 Posts), Thu Mar 04, 2004 08:55 am

Kris,

I want to recommend a book for you to read. It's called Grieving
the Child I never Knew. It was given to me by one of the girls
in the bereavement group. I was up 'til late last night reading it.
The author is Kathe Wunnenberg.
Please let us know how you are doing.
Thinking of you and precious Tyler...


Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03 - 12/4/03 @ 26 wks pre e
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Re : so encouraged...

Postby gossamer » Tue Mar 16, 2004 11:11 am

by gossamer (242 Posts), Tue Mar 16, 2004 11:11 am

I am brand new to this board so I thought I would just jump in with both feet first. I have been going to a support group for parents who have had a neonatal death. It has been so amazing. Our daughter died July 29th, 2003 at 24 weeks due to severe HELLP syndrome. Being with other mothers who understand the loss of such a wished for child has been so cathartic for me. I also go to a general grief support group for anyonw who has lost someone, and while it is also very helpful, the neonatal group really fills a need I have. Just my experience.
Gossamer

"Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were a minute old, I would have died for you.
This is the miracle of life. " -Maureen Hawkins
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Re : so encouraged...

Postby josiah1112 » Tue Mar 16, 2004 03:14 pm

by josiah1112 (1368 Posts), Tue Mar 16, 2004 03:14 pm

Welcome Gossamer!

I'm glad you found us! I'm really sorry about your daughter.
Thank you for sharing the small poem by Maureen Hawkins. I
can totally relate to what it says. I would have given my
life for my son.
I'm glad the support groups are helping you. My husband and I
are relocating and we have already discussed finding a Neonatal
Loss Support group close to our new home.

Take Care,

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e
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