Hello All! It's been a long time since I have written any topics or anything of the sort. It has been 10 mths. and 14 days since our daughter Adalyn died. I am still under a Kidney doctors care. I have also been put on some new meds. to see if my Kidneys will kick back in. Dealing with all this and the stress of medical bills that I never ever thought would happen to me, I can't seem to find time to mourn our daughters death. I figured that her first birthday will be hard for me. Keep in mind, I was coming out of a coma when they buried her. I never got to see her or hold her or even had closure of it all. I look at little baby girls (now around her age) and wonder if that is her. Sound silly? Sometimes I feel like she is just missing and deep down I guess I have always thought that while I was in bad shape that when I got better, they would bring her to me. Well, it hasn't happened. She is gone however I am not feeling anything. Last night when I went to bed, I started tearing up, thinking of her. I choked it in and went on to sleep. There isn't anyone who knows what I am going thru. They all had closure! As many women who are on here, I just wanted to see if any of you had the samething as to not seeing, touching, holding or being able to attend your babys funeral and how you cope with it.
Thanks for your all's time,