Sending you long distance hugs. I am so sorry. I lost Zach shortly after you lost William and I find that there are still days when I can't bear it. For awhile, it seems as though the ok days and the bad days were pretty even, and there are even some good days... The bad still come back though and they seem to come back with a vengance. Sometimes, it's as though I can only be "ok" and "normal" for so long, I can only gush over friends babies for so long, I can only bite my tongue after rude/insensitive comments for so long before I just need to "meltdown." My husband doesn't know what to do either but, he recognizes my need for days like that sometimes and for that I'm thankful. Anyway, I don't want to go on about me but, I just want you to know that you're not alone and that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Also, I know how difficult and terrifying it is to think about another pregnancy, we know all too well what can happen. I just pray that you find peace in whatever decision you make. Have you talked to Dr. E about it, he was very helpful to us in that area.
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe
Southern California Coordinator