Is this discrimination?

[hannahsmom]

Okay, so we've heard mean comments etc. about how small our daughter is blah, blah, blah - you get used to it after a while. Well, I think my daughter Hannah (a 26 weeker who will be three in August)is being discriminated against at her daycare. Today we were told that she probably does not qualify for special ed pre-k provided by the state because she is caught up developmentally. We won't officially know for a couple of weeks. While I was thrilled that she is caught up, I was bummed because I was looking forward to her getting special attention in a smaller class. Her speech therapy ends in August because she turns three. So it looks like she'll be stuck in a private daycare where they are more interested in the weekly fee than they are the kids. I am currently looking for another daycare. Anyway, finally to the reason for my post. Today her afternoon teacher told me in confidence that the morning teacher makes fun of Hannah because she is developmentally delayed. Today the afternoon teacher (the nice one) said out loud to the other teacher that Hannah was having problems on the bicycle. The other teacher remarked "Hannah has problems with everything." She apparently ignores Hannah and does not help her with the things she can't do. Hannah has been acting up while in this woman's care and she has been writing her up every day in hopes that Hannah will get kicked out of the daycare. Hannah does have some behavior issues but every other teacher has taken the time to work with her and they all say how sweet she is. The afternoon teacher said Hannah is just defending herself against the other kids because she's smaller than them and they pick on her but of course the other teacher never mentions that part in the write up. So, how should I approach this with the management? Do you think this is discrimination or am I just so angry I'm making a big deal out of nothing?

Thanks is Advance!


Suzanne
Mommy to Miss Hannah Rose
26.5 weeker born 8/24/01
severe pre-e & IUGR
1 pound, 1 ounce
12 inches
Miracles do happen!

[emily kates mom]

Suzanne,

I don't think that you are wrong at all. I am an elementary teacher. It is absolutely inexcusable for any adult, especially a teacher to treat a child that way. As a teacher, I keep detailed documentation on various students so that I have valuable information when I may need it later. I would suggest that you get some kind of notebook, etc. and begin documenting your specific observations and concerns (dates, times, etc). If and when you do approach the director, having this documentation will help you. Also, have you thought about making a surprise "drop-in" visit while this teacher is working with Hannah?
I am truly sorry you are having to deal with this. Please let us know what unravels...

Allison

Mommy to Emily Kate
3lbs. 7 oz.
Born 9/23/03
**2 months early due to preeclampsia.

[deerhart]

as for it being discrimination, that is an iffy subject. There is nothing to stop a teacher from making mena comments about a student, what would be discrimination is if they did kick her out becuase of her delay.

Personally the best way to approach it may be with the documentation, but rather to approach the management that you don't feel this teacher is a good fit for your child and see what the options are. It may be that you need to find some place else for her that is more interested in working with your child (they do exist, though rare). Tyr not to make it what the teacher is doing to Hannah, but rather more its not working for Hannah. Thus you can use the discrepency of the writeups from the morning teacher to your advantage.
Obviously because Hannah is only acting up under this specific teacher, there must be some reason why this is happening, it could be Hannah doesn't like the teacher or the teacher is just not a right fit for Hannah's needs. By taking it from this point of view, you don't automatically place management in a position between having to either defend a teacher or defend a student, and since your not coming in with acqusations per se they may be more willing to work something out that is beneficial to all parties.

We don't use private day care here, as Alex is in the special ed preschool and if he wasn't he would go to the regular preschool at the elementary school here. Outside of preschool (which he will go 4 mornings a week) we have him in a private home daycare because he does need a smaller environment with more 1 on 1 interaction.

Another thing to remember if this teacher is treating your child this way she is also treating other children this way. Enough parents coming in with concerns will get management to reevlauate their relationship with that teacher, but it may not occur in a time frame that is comfertable for you or Hannah.

its sad that people chose to go into professions that do not suit their personalities =(

Erin

Moderator - Parents of Preemies
Missouri State Coordinator
Mommy to Alex (4)and Mason (1 1/2)
Law Student - 1 year done, 2 to go

[meg]

I would find a new daycare ASAP!! there are WONDERFUL private daycares out there that DO care about kids. My kids are in one! :)
Rather than fighting too much with the current one which will probably only cause stress and more trouble in the long run, I would RUn as fast as I could away from there and get a new daycare!

Will 2-6-00 (PE at 35 weeks)
Elizabeth 7-3-01 (NO PE or PIH)
#3 EDD 10-25-04 Its a girl! So far so good!
Proud Aunt to Ethan born 26/27 weeks (March 8th) weighing 1 lb 8 ounces! Our little fighter!
Now 6 pounds. He is home and off of oxygen!

[kim]

First of all, ACK!!!!!! My immediate impulse would be to punch the b*&*$ and kick her in the shins!!

Secondly, it is never OK for an adult to tease a child. My mom has had a daycare in her home and has dealt with preemies (currently has a 3 month old that was born at 32 weeks), ADHD children, and everything else under the sun. A teacher may get frustrated, but cannot take it out on the child. That is horrendous!

I would talk to the management of the daycare, and if the woman is not immediately fired, you need to look elsewhere. Also, in Texas, if we report such incidences, the state comes out and fires the person.

Take care and good for Hannah for defending herself!!

Kim
Texas Chapter Coordinator

Ainsley 11/26/02-36 Weeks Preeclampsia
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ainsleyk/

[jenn]

Suzanne,
OMG!
All my fears of putting J in daycare / preschool have just become real through your post.
I'm not sure what choices you have for atlernate care for Hannah, but if it were me...well...not a good example. [:I] I'd be in jail for what would be left of that scum.
Anywayz...
But I would have grabbed her as fast as my body would let me and run and never go back. Than I'd get on the phone and start an investigation. Bad enough someone told you Hannah was picked on, but what about the next kid this indecent human chooses.
I'm so sorry for what you must be going through.
My tummy is turning, but my heart is with you.
Keep us informed on what happens with this, for you will be in my thoughts.

Much love to you and Hannah.

Jennie (24)
Shad DH (29)

Jaidyn 1.24.01 (30 wkr)
Severe PE/HELLP
2lb. 12oz.

Heavenly Angel:
Blaze
12.6.03
(miscarriage)

Natalia Rosse
Due Thanksgiving day!
11.25.04

http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/jaid/ (updated May 26th, u/s photos in J's gallery)

[pugmommy7]

i am so sorry this is happening to you(and to hannah). i am on the verge of tears here!
i agree w. kim 100%
it is absolutely disgusting.

reason # 101 why i wanna homeschool;)
what ever happened to teaching kids that people come in all shapes and sizes?, and that we are all good at different things and that we cannot all be good at everything!

a teacher encouraging this kind of behavior reminds me that hatred is a taught trait.(a la racism.)

love,
Jennifer


Jennifer, 30
DH, Chris, 33
Mama & Daddy to:
Isabella Sofia,1/02/03 born @ 33.5 weeks at 3 lbs,6oz., 16". GD,
Pre-E,& borderline HELLP.

Catalina Amelia,5/29/04 born @ 36.2 weeks,4 lbs.,12oz.,16"
GD,PIH,& Pre-e