Are you willing to try again?????

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Re : Are you willing to try again?????

Postby amillhouse » Wed Mar 10, 2004 04:39 pm

Hi, Jill. I am very sorry for the loss of your daughter.

I have been told that spacing is very important - to let your body heal and return to normal, especially that your pre-e symptoms must totally go away. So if you got high blood pressure, it must return to normal, if you had protein in your urine, it must return to noraml, etc. I was told by specialists to wait 9 - 12 months. I am thinking that if you start sooner rather than later there is some chance that the condition will come back more easily than if you wait.


Anika (32, severe pre-e)
Mommy's Angel Boy: Isaiah (1/20/04 - 2/17/04)
Born at 28 weeks 1 day gestation weighing 610 grams
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Re : Are you willing to try again?????

Postby theboyzmom » Fri Mar 12, 2004 05:12 pm

My DH and I just made the choice to try again. Really, we both made it before we lost Glen at 38 weeks (cord accident). We both want more children and have always felt so. This is a second marrage for both of us with ex's that did not want more kids (he has 3 and I have 2). Glen can not be replaced but he can have siblings. Additionially, for us a child together is a symbol of our love for each other. Communication with dh is so important. We both hesitated to discuss the issued after Glen passed away. We both were trying to protect the other. Good luck!

Cindy
Mom to 2 boys, step mom to two and one angel (Glen ~|~ 2/10/04)
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Re : Are you willing to try again?????

Postby mada » Sat Mar 13, 2004 05:51 am

Hi Cindy,
I was wondering how you were doing. Good to hear from you. I am glad you and your husband are on the same page about everything. Goodluck ttc!! And of course a new baby wouldn't replace Glen...but you seem to have a healthy attitude about everything which is good to hear. Take good care and let us know how things are going!!

Mada Harpster

Sam 6-29-00 36weeks P.E.
Ben 11-03-01 No P.E.
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Re : Are you willing to try again?????

Postby amillhouse » Sat Mar 13, 2004 07:22 am

I think a good way to determine whether or not you will TTC again is through an informed decision. Yesterday I had my six-week (well seven weeks because I couldn't get an appt.) check-up with my gynie. I really didn't know what to expect but it was very positive. He sat with us before doing a scan and checking of my wound. He explained how Isaiah's death had affected him and all of his staff. By the way they sent me the most beautiful bouquet. Anyway, he wanted to basically know if we had any regrets for the way things were handled, his management, etc. I gave an emphatic, "No!" I told him I would do it all again just to know my son for that precious four weeks. Moreover, before my gynie got back from vacation, I was on bedrest in hospital and his colleagues were watching over me. They wanted to end the pregnancy then at 24 weeks when it is pretty clear that the baby is likely not to be "viable." Most of us know that 11 days is the normal expected time to go before having to deliver. Well, I went 29 days! If it had not been for my gynie's careful watch over my condition and stretching it out as long as we could, I may not have seen my son alive. Isaiah's death had nothing to do with my gynie, but I believe his life did. So, after listening to my side of things, he also said, he would not have managed anything differently, that he would treat me and any other patient in the same condition with the same medical management. I was so happy to hear his confidence in how he handled things - who wants a wimp for a doctor anyway?!?!? We then talked about the future and the research I have been doing through this website, internet, and some of the top pre-e experts here in South Africa and in the States. He was shocked at all the work I had done, especially talking on the phone to some of his professors (well, I didn't know they were his professors at the time [^]). So we talked about calcium, low dose aspirin (called Disprin here), etc. He didn't realise that we would still be living here for the next three or more years, so we told him and that he would be my gynie, I'm not going to anyone else. And all the experts I have spoken with here, on their own initiative, said they would be more that happy to work with us through our gynie on any future pregnancies. All this to say that my appt. made me feel positive about the future. As I said before, my DH and I have not decided definitively that we will TTC again but we are acting like we have. If so, TTC will start in October. Lots to do between now and then - emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. So, all of the information I have gathered has made me feel empowered. Some of it has been scary, but ignorance is no longer bliss for those of us who have experienced pre-e/HELLP.

Anika (32, severe pre-e)
Mommy's Angel Boy: Isaiah (1/20/04 - 2/17/04)
Born at 28 weeks 1 day gestation weighing 610 grams
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Re : Are you willing to try again?????

Postby for faith » Mon Mar 15, 2004 04:35 pm

Anika - So glad that your appointment with your dr. was helpful. I hope that these months ahead give you peace. We are still searching if TTC again is what we can do, physically and emotionally. My dr. says I have a 15% chance of it occuring again. My bp has become normal, but it told a month or so to get there and have no proteins. I also had 5 days of magnesium (which was horrible) and a c-section, so know I need to wait a while for that to heal too. I am hoping by late summer to TTC. Good luck to you.





Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - almost 4
Angel baby - January 2003 (11 weeks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (born at 30 weeks due to severe preeclampsia, passed due to NEC (intestinal premie complication))
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Re : Are you willing to try again?????

Postby lisac » Mon Mar 15, 2004 07:01 pm

Hi Anika--
Was it your parents that I recently met at our N. Calif. chapter meeting? If not, then there is another couple who also just had a loss due to pre-e in S. Africa.

I would love to correspond (had a loss as well) with you if that was your parents who I met a few weeks ago. They are wonderful people. I hope you are doing ok considering the circumstances.

Take care,
Lisa
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