Getting Through the Due Date - Coping Methods?

[grace04]

My due date was exactly one week ago, May 22. Although the day itself wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, each day afterward has been difficult because I think now that I should have a baby here in my arms, to hold! Instead, I have photos and empty arms of a my little girl who only survived nine days. I am wondering if anyone has any coping methods for those dismal days when the pain sets in and TTC seems so far away....

For what its worth, I got a cat today. I am NOT a cat person, and I already have a dog. But for some reason, the thought of having something to cuddle with made me feel better....

Jaime Nolan
Mother of Grace Ann Nolan
2/22/04-3/2/04 (born @ 27 weeks Pre E)

[josiah1112]

Hi Jaime,

Grief is just one of those things that there is no going
around. Give yourself time... Some people have found it
helpful to start a journal in which you write anything
and everything you want about your baby. Others create
a web page in their honor... Do not be afraid to feel and
mourn for your little girl. You will always have those times
when it seems to just "hit" you- The fact that you should
have your baby in your arms. I'm sure the cat will help.
(It's funny, but I have been threatning my DH with
getting a puppy). Holding something has been said to help
our "aching and empty arms". Hang in there.


Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e
Moderator- Foro Latino
Future Adoptive Mom

[angelkat]

Jamie,

As Gloria said a journal is a wonderful way to help deal with grief. Many people grief in different ways that it is very hard to tell someone how they will feel on this day or that day.

My dogs have been wonderful support for me as they love to be cuddled and just lay around with me.

Please feel free to post your feelings or anything you would like to share about your angel. We are here to support you in any way that we can...



Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(13)PE 37 wks
Ky (11)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey Looking at Aug
Katlyne's Tribute Site
http://forevernetwork.com/lifestories/lifestory.cfm?Archive_ID=10971&Directory=/Archives/MountHope&Sort=V

[houstygirl]

Hi, Jonathan's due date would be this Saturday.
I don't know how I'll handle it. We are planning
to go and plant a rose we have been given on his
grave and let off a few balloons or something.
It's winter here so I hope the rose survives.
I originally didn't want to plant anything there
just in case it did die, but now I see it as another
excuse to keep on visiting him. :)

Mum to Angel baby Jonathan Douglas
born still 3rd April 2004 31wks, weighing 880gms

[taras mom]

Mittens and I agree: The cat is a great idea! Kitties don't judge or analyze, they don't offer unsolicited advice, and they know exactly when you need to cuddle. There doesn't seem to be any single way to get through the bad days. I still have them, and remembering all the good things I have in my life is what gets me through to the next day.

Carol (38)
DH Bill (40)
Tara Mairichi
12/7-12/9, 2002
The Mightiest Little Angel

[sjs40]

For what it is worth, I think the cat is a great idea. My cat was a great comfort to me when I was at home alone without my baby girl. Cats seem to sense when you are feeling down and they are especially affectionate!

Sue (40)
Chris (37)
DD Eleanor Susan (Ellie)
born at 27wks severe PE
24 July 03 - 20 August 03

[for faith]

Jaime - Faith's due date was difficult, especially as special days come that I had planned to have her with me, I think of what I should be doing, instead of having empty arms. Just wanted you to know I understand, nothing really makes it easier for me. I think a kitty is a wonderful idea. Maybe doing something special in Grace's honor (love her name) may help. I know doing the March of Dimes walk and getting involved in a organization that helps newborns (Newborns in Need) have helped give me some peace.

Wishing you peace at this difficult time. HUGS

Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH)
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC & Sepsis(preemie complications))