toughest week of my life

Are you worried about your partners pregnancy? Has your partner already had preeclampsia? Do you have advice for other dads who could be going through similar experiences as yourself? Post here!

toughest week of my life

Postby jet77 » Mon Apr 12, 2004 06:53 pm

my wife and i just recently lost our unborn son to the monster, preeclampsia. she was just 22 wks, almost 23, when one day she didnt feel good so i decided to check her blood pressure. at that time, it was around 160/110. a doctor who was on call told us dont worry its not preeclampsia that only happens in the 3rd trimester around 27-28 wks but told us to come into the hospital any how. he tested her urine and it was +3 protein. also, her blood pressure during the night spiked upward to 190/130. she then did a 24hr urine which reveal once again the +3 protein, within 2 days it went to over +5 protein. at this time, her doctor call in a perinatologist. he stated that her protein level was not the concern but the creatinine levels. however, he came back that evening and did an ultrasound and found that the umbilical cord had retrograde end diastolic flow due to the blood vessels in the placenta constricting due to the preeclampsia. he told us we had a decision to make to deliver connor and let him die or to risk my wife who's platelet levels had drop to 121 and liver enzymes were fluctuating. during the night however, my baby boy died while his loving mother protected him with her own life on the line. the next day i held him in my arms and did my best to make sure he knew that his daddy and mommy would always love him. he was beautiful and looked like my other son who survived this horrible disease. However, my son andrew is in himself a miracle because had he not been delivered preeclampsia would have taken him also in 24 hrs. we buried my precious son whom ill never hold but who ill love forever and will see again in heaven.

i now need to ask a question to the more experience people. my wife was told by her doctor to not check her blood pressure even though she had preeclampsia with my first son. (she changed doctors after my first son) also, at 15 wks, she had a scant amount of protein in her urine and he said that was ok and no need to worry. it is my belief that had i a graduating nurse been checking her blood pressure that we could have got her treated early and possibly saved our son. also, should the doctor have treated her for the scan amount of protein or even watched her more closely.
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Re : toughest week of my life

Postby jet77 » Mon Apr 12, 2004 07:07 pm

just so that everyone knows
myself-Jeffery Thomas (27)
my wife-Brittani Thomas (29)
Andrew Thomas born 11/3/97 at 33 wk due to severe pre-e (my little miracle)
Connor Walton Thomas was stillborn 3/11/04 at 23wk REDF due to severe pre-e
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Re : toughest week of my life

Postby julie f » Tue Apr 13, 2004 00:45 am

Jeffery,

I am so very sorry for your loss. There is nothing that can prepare us for the loss of our child and nothing that can console us when it happens. It is absolutely unimaginable to bury your own child and my heart breaks for you and your family. I am so sorry and will keep you all close at heart and in my prayers.

This Foundation has given me so much strength and encouragement since I lost my son last summer. I would absolutely encourage you to visit often and to pass the website on to your wife. It was a Godsend for me to have people to talk to who had unfortunately experienced the horror I was living through. While I wish that we had all met under different circumstances, I am so thankful for everyone here. I hope that we can offer you and your wife some comfort through this time.

As far as your question goes about your doctor's treatment of your wife - Some time ago, we had another poster who was unsure of the quality of care she had received and wanted to know what she could do about it. Our Executive Director, Anne, passed on some information that I thought might be useful to you. Attached is the link:
http://www.preeclampsia.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1466

How is your wife doing?

Keeping you in my prayers,

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

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Re : toughest week of my life

Postby josiah1112 » Tue Apr 13, 2004 12:48 am

I'm so sorry Jeffrey. I was very touched by your post.
Please continue to take care of your wife. Your unity
will bring some comfort to both of you during this difficult
time. Thinking of You..[V]

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e
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Re : toughest week of my life

Postby worriedhubby20 » Wed Apr 14, 2004 05:29 pm

Hello Jeffery! I'm truely sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot begin to imagine what you and your family have had to go through. My wife recently delivered our son Parker at 30 weeks, she to suffered from Preeclampsia. He weighed in at 1 lb. 14 oz. He has been a fighter and has progressed well.
My advice is coming very fresh off the top of my head, he was born on the 29th of March. My wifes doctor told us about the possiblity fo PE very early on in her pregnancy. He kept a very close eye on her. At the first sign of PE, he admitted her to the hospital. Her blood pressure had spiked, 190/110. He tried to let Parker stay inside my wife as long as he could, but the PE had nearly destroyed her placenta, and her amniotic fluid level had dropped to a critical level. I would highly urge you to question her doctor about anything you are unsure of. Women that have had PE in previous pregnancies are 33% more likely to have it in later pregnancies than women that have never had it. I could probably write a short novel on what we have been through in such a small amount of time, but I would surely monitor my wife's condition closely for all of the PE signs if she were to get pregnant again. Please, feel free to ask about anything that is on your mind. The people here are WONDERFUL!!! I call them my "Godsends", for all of the support and information that they have given me during our times of trouble.

Rob Lawrence, father of James Parker, March 29, 2004
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Re : toughest week of my life

Postby tracyremax@charter.net » Sun Apr 25, 2004 05:11 pm

Jeffrey I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son. I pray your wife is recovering. Preeclampsia is a nasty disease and many doctors are not educated enough on how serious the disease is. Many have not seen the devastation that this disease causes. When I had severe pe pre and postpartum my doctor said she had only seen 1 case in the last 7 years!!! Needless to say I switched doctors to a perinatalogist. Trust your instincts if you feel your wife was mistreated ask your doctor or get the records to bring to a specialist. Wishing your family well.

Tracy in Massachusetts
Mom to Billy 9/01 severe pe pre and postpartum
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