Holly - first off, congratulations on your baby boy!
I am originally from Lorain County and we just sold our house in Lakewood. Henry was born in Cleveland, at 34 weeks.
I would encourage you to speak with your doctor - either your OB or your regular doc, about your emotions. It is not uncommon to have post-traumatic stress disorder or post-partum depression.
Personally, I am still going through post-partum depression 22 months later.
Don't try to "get over it". But rather try to accept it as a part of you, a part of what makes you who you are and what has given you your son.
I've also found that while DH is incredibly supportive, he just doesn't "get" it like the women here do.
I also requested my medical records - from both the hospital and my ob.
We're not allowed to use facility or doctor names here, but if you want to email me privately (through my username) I'd be glad to help you figure out how to get your records. Getting them has helped me put things into perspective. I also requested Henry's medical records from the NICU - every time I read through both his and mine, I glean some new information.
How is your son? How are you?