We are in the same boat. I had my son, also at 25 weeks on 1/20/03. His first birthday is just around the corner. We are so excited.
I can definitely understand you being scared about trying for #2, and unfortunately there is no crystal ball to tell us whether we will suffer from PE again. But there are definitely things to be done that can help ease your mind. BTW, I have been told that there is greater than 25% chance I will get PE again, that is if the doctor finds out I am otherwise healthy. (more on that below)
I just went to my Perinatologist (high risk OB) to discuss my next pregnancy. My husband and I plan to start trying for #2 end of July (my Peri wants me to wait 18 mths because I had a classic c-section) Although I ended up with a lot of questions after I saw him, I also got a lot of things answered. He also ran some blood tests on me to see if there is any underlying issue that caused me to have the PE. They took 13 vials of blood for these tests. Has anyone told you about them? Did a perinatologist deliver your first baby? I agree with Catherine, you need to see one before your next pregnancy, and you should get your medical records from your last pregnancy. Something on there may show as a potential red flag for the next time. In my case, my son was small at the 21 week ultrasound. He was normal size at the 8 week ultrasound. Next pregnancy if the same thing happens, my peri will take precautions and start montioring me more closely. As of now he said the minute I get pregnant he wants to see me for baseline tests. Then at 8 weeks they will do a detail ultrasound to check spinal cord etc. At 20 weeks I will start monthly ultrasounds, and at 38 weeks he will schedule the c-section (1 week early than normal, again because of my classis c-section) Hopefully, that is all the care I will need, but just in case something crops up, he will be able to catch it and treat it quickly. He also wants me to monitor my BP daily. Up for discussion is what else should I do, e.g. aspirin therapy, extra calcium, special diet. My doctor believes that none of these have proven effective for PE, but I am inclined to do some of them if it wouldn't otherwise hurt my baby.
On a side note, a few months back I went to a new OB/Gyn, one who was recommended to me by a friend. He is great. We discussed the PE, but he just doesn't have the field of knowledge my Peri had, so I am going to have the Peri follow my next PG. You should have the same option too, because you developed PE so early. If your insurance won't cover it, find an OB to refer you. You will feel 100% better if you do. By the way, I meet a few women in the NICU who had PE in their first pregnancy (later than us) and choose to go with their normal OB/Gyn. I don't think they were that happy with the care they got, because they both got PE again. In both cases, they didn't even know Peri's existed. I find that sad, knowledge is power.
Also, I would love to hear more about your daughter.
Max, 25 wk, IUGR, 1/20/03, severe PE