Hi Nicky. Like you I have infertility problems, I have pcos, and have tried for years to get pregnant. I finally became pregnant totally out of the blue without any treatment earlier this year. I knew pcos made miscarriage more likely, so I couldnt really relax until after 24 wks when I knew babies were viable. A nuchal scan at 12wks gave me a 1 in 29 risk of Downs syndrome (Trisomy 21), but I declined invasive tests as I could not risk them causing a miscarriage and I would not have chosen to terminate the pregnancy anyway. I got severe pre-eclampsia at 26+4 and was admitted to hospital. 3 days later I had a scan and Doppler which showed the baby had stopped growing and the placenta was failing. I had an emergency c-section that same day, at 27wks and Ellie arrived weighing just 1lb 4oz, but kicking and crying. She was amazing, and didnt ever have ventilation! She was doing really well, we got to cuddle her, help with tube feeding and to change her nappies, and we were expecting to bring her home around her due date. Suddenly she got ill with NEC and we lost her 2 days later. Ellie was just 27 days old. She did have Downs btw.
We have the same thoughts as you...especially as we lost our lovely little girl. We felt so lucky that I was able to get pregnant after all, then we were lucky that she was so well for such a tiny baby with Downs, then it was all taken away. At least we were able to get to know her and she got to know us, we were luckier than some. We want to try again, but there are several issues here...I am now 40yrs old for a start! I have infertility problems, pcos causes problems in itself, and Downs is a possibility again due to my age and a previous Downs baby (that is the least of our worries here). My consultant says I would be seen by a high-risk unit every 2wks from when pregnancy confirmed, then every wk after 20wks. This is encouraging, but, of course, I actually need to get pregnant first....and can we cope with the stress of that, to then have the worry of pre-eclampsia possibly happening again?
I would love to discuss this further....
Sorry this is such a long reply!