by riehlism (655 Posts), Sun Aug 01, 2010 00:11 am
What would have been more comforting for me was for people to tell me that they have absolutely no clue about where I'm coming from: the emotional and physical pain. Perhaps they could even say is all they have to offer is an ear. Attempting to understand, or standing aloof of the situation until I'm "back to normal," or assuming there is a timeline in the grieving process with a definitive endpoint is insulting and insensitive.
Most people are amateurs in dealing with a profound loss. It forces us to explore feelings that we really would rather not experience...and I do believe that is applicable to our friends and families as well. It really highlights those people who are good communicators and good about acknowledging uncomfortable feelings and are able to face them. Unfortunately, it also seems to highlight those whose only mechanism is to sweep it under the rug and hope it goes away.
There has to be a high school or college requirement for at least one semester of various types of communication techniques. Now I'm just rambling. Sorry. But seriously, sometimes common sense goes a long way.