teenster3? are you there?

[mom2tori]

Hey Tina, just wanted to see how things are for you. I have been thinking of you and wondering how the baby growing is. Hope things are going smoothly for you..

[teenster3]

Hi,
Well, I'm not quite sure how I feel right now.
I've been seeing my doctor twice a week now for about a month. This last appointment that I had was this past Thursday. She did the usual by monitoring the baby's heartrate, blood pressure, etc. & then checked my cervix to see if I was dilated.
She told me I was 1 - 2cm dilated & could feel the baby's head (ok, I'm freaking out at this point). She proceeds to tell me that by feeling my stomach she could tell the baby was already 7 - 71/2 pounds. STILL....taking this all in (did I tell you this is my 1st baby if you couldn't already tell by my anxiety?) I tell her that my health insurance really stinks. They tell me if my doctor isn't there to deliver "I have to call to make sure whoever delivers is." Not to happy at this point, what am I supposed to do, call in the middle of pushing to ask if this other doctor is covered by my insurance? AGH!
So.....my doctor responds by saying:" I will be here next week, off the week after, & THEN I will be back the week of the 26th so, the 27th looks good to deliver!
"WHAT THE".....I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I was told way back when that it would be Oct. 7th, not now, not in a few weeks!
YES, I AM SERIOUSLY LOSING IT!
Don't get me wrong it will be great to finally see our baby & hopefully to get rid of all the YUCK symptoms I've had being pregnant BUT, I've not ready! I don't feel like a mom-to-be, I don't feel like I can do any of this! I feel extremely insecure about everything motherhood has to offer. I don't know where to start with anything like breastfeeding, easing the baby's comforts, labor....this part REALLY scares me. Everything is honestly happening so fast now & I don't feel ready for any of it!
Gosh, I'm going to be a terrible mom!
"I am so sorry to keep going on & on...."
I haven't even asked how YOU are doing?
I hope everything is great & that your weekend is going well too!
My sister-in-law is throwing me a baby shower today.....I sure hope my nerves are in check by 1:00 this afternoon!!!
Hope to talk to you soon!

[mom2tori]

Oh Tina!! You sound pretty stressed out-I would be too;) I know what you mean about feeling not ready and not prepared, I think that is one of the most normal feelings about motherhood. The time is coming close to actually holding this baby and from the time it comes into the world you will be the most important person in this little ones life.....daunting and humbling! I can't say anything about how scary labor is...I was never in labor but the whole idea of it scared the bejeeses out of me. Motherhood is a very scary thing but I think a lot of it is instinctive and a lot of the mommy stuff is taken care of through the love you show your baby. So you have that covered. I would talk to a lactation consultant about your fears/phobias/pointers/ect of the breastfeeding. A consultant can be a great source of support and knowledge and help you with some of those anxieties. Have you and your doc talked about the labor? If you are able to write down some of your greatest fears and any questions maybe your doc can help you with some of them or asking a close friend about how they coped through labor might be a good idea too. Also everyone on the forums always has good advice and good tips for what worked for them getting them through all the tough first time mommy things. I think you are going to be a GREAT mom!!! You are already going to all of your ob appointments, and caring enough and loving this little one enough to educate yourself with any means you can....that is a huge step right there. I think you will do just fine. Of course there will be days when you wonder what I have gotten myself into? And days when you think this mommy thing is really hard! But those days will not even come close to the days you look at your baby and think, what did I ever do to get something so precious and so special given to me? The days when you just have to hold the baby a little longer because you know the days of cuddling will pass by so fast you just don't want to let go yet. And when your baby smiles at you.....the entire world will seem like a better place to be and your entire life will take on new meaning. You are going to be embarking on the greatest adventure of your life with the most rewards, smiles and tears and every emotion inbetween. It is hard not to be worried-I think worry is a prerequisite for motherhood:) Take a breath, things will all fall into place.

I hope you have a great baby shower and get that little one lots of good stuff. Can't wait to hear how it goes. Sending lots of calming, soothing thoughts your way. Take care, {{{{hugs}}}}

[teenster3]

Hi Again,
Boy, I just can't get off here tonight!
I still don't feel tired but my back & feet are in agony.
I just wanted to tell you how my shower went. It was a good time for the most part except when I walked into the room & everyone looked at me & said "oh Tina....look at those legs & feet of yours, they're HUGE." Not quite what I was expecting, more like "congrats on the baby or something to that effect."
But, what can you do?
We got a lot of things for the baby but mostly TONS of clothes. Our son will be dressed better than Matthew & myself put together![:)]
How are you doing?
All I do is talk about myself. It would be great to hear about someone else for a change!

[mom2tori]

I am glad the shower went well and baby got lots of good stuff. People don't always think before they say something. I am doing alright. This weekend was tough on me since it was Dominics (my son) 8th birthday and the next day was his 8th angel day so this weekend was really tough on my emotions. We just moved from Beaver Dam to Randolph so I am busy getting organized and used to living in an actual house opposed to a trailer. It is really nice and I love the house! Needs some work but it is ours. I also bought my husband a puppy for his birthday-a bassett hound for him to go rabbit hunting with so I am busy yelling at the naughty puppy;)She is really cute though so I can't stay angry at her for long and Victoria loves the puppy! Has to let her in and out and always saying Macie (the dog) needs a treat, Macie has to go potty, Macie is sad, ect. It is really cute. Victoria starts sunday school this coming sunday so she is pretty excited about that. She is growing way too fast and I miss my little baby:( But she is a lot of fun now so I wouldn't have it any other way.

[denise]

Glad to hear your shower went well Tina, and you received some great gifts. That is always nice. How are you feeling today? When is your next OB appt?

[teenster3]

Hi Denise,
I'm STILL hanging in there![;)]
Actually I just saw my doctor on Monday. She said that I am 2cm dilated & that the baby weighs about 7-71/2 lbs. My blood pressure was up there again so, I have to collect another 24-hour urine sample & take it in on Wed. along with blood work that day as well.
On Thur. I get to go in again to get the results & have my routine checkup.
She is on vacation next week & is giving me another doctor to see twice that week.
Then, that next week......I shutter to think about, I will be induced on the 27th if I don't go any earlier.
Still don't know what to expect BUT hanging in there waiting to find out! I can't WAIT to get rid of these yucky, swollen FEET, Ankles & LEGS....agh, the agony!
[:p]