I am so sorry for your loss. Dates are always hard especially the first ones. You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. We have all been there. For me & specific dates, I try to plan my day as much as possible. I have it all laid out in my mind before ever getting to the day. Planning and thinking about the day ahead of time for some reason takes the edge off and enables me not loose sight of how I needed to spend it.
Remembering my angel is always hard, its hard to grasp she is gone, even 2 and 1/2 years later. It was particularly hard in the beginning as we had no grave site. In the time since, we now have a grave stone, its up in the mountains and is a 2hr drive, so it is a nice symbolic day when we visit her stone. But, her urn is still here with us. I imagine someday I will take it to be buried. But, I still cant imagine not having her here..so maybe i wont. I just listen to my heart as much as possible when I take the steps that i do.