Friends are now pregnant

[jean]

I just found out and am crying..I hope the best for them. But it's so unfair. Why couldn't we have had a living baby? Just one! That's all we were asking for. Why did we have to lose him? And we thought he was ok...for 2 weeks everything was ok..and then he got nec..

I am a mess. This is so unfair.

[rosemary]

Jean, I wish I had an answer that would make you feel better. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this...you are in my thoughts.

[sam10]

I am so sorry.

I have lit a candle tonight, also in memory of your little one.

[love_the_daschies]

Jean,

It is always so hard to be so reminded of your loss when you see others get what you wanted. Of course you wish the best for them, but you also wish you had your boy. I am so very sorry you are hurting. Your right - it's just not fair at all

[annes]

HUGS. I wish the best for them, and the best for you, take care of yourself.

[riehlism]

Friends, co-workers...it feels like babies and bellies abound at the worst time. I am still trying to process this myself. It is unfair. I feel like we were robbed of the opportunity. You look at the others and think how good they have it. You can see strangers complaining about how much their babies cry and all you think about is how much you wish you had that "problem." It's only been a month and a half, and the wounds are still fresh. I wonder when the harshness of it all will be lessened. I am sorry that we have to experience any of this.

[jean]

How long does it take for people to feel comfortable again around other people w/their babies? My SIL is now pg too...and I feel like a jerk because I don't want to be around any of it. I'm not trying to be a jerk..it's just too hard for me. Even though it's been almost 6 months...and I don't know how it will ever get any easier. :~(

[frogibe]

Jean

I'm so sorry that you lost your little one to NEC....I lost Kelsie to that too after having her here with us for 5 weeks....It has been almost 6 months after saying goodbye to our little girl and I still have a difficult time around babies and pregnant women. To add to my sister in law is TTC too and I had her ask me to take her to the doctor...I did go but it was one of the hardest things for me to do...I still want to support her though.

I think all in all I have PTSD and the anxiety seems worse around babies than pregnant women. I still have flashbacks of the doctors attempting to resesitate my daughter. I think that the anxiety has gotten better....all in due time we will feel better...but will be forever changed!

[annes]

I think that it is totally different for different people. Six months is not very long in the grand scheme of things, although this 6 months has probably feels like much longer to you, I know it did for me. When I had to be around pregnant people/babies, I just kept reminding myself that this baby has nothing to do with me or my lost baby and I do not want my friends/family or anyone else for that matter, to be what I have been through, that helped me get through those moments. It does get easier with time. take care of yourself.