what about adoption?

[kdreher]

I have been doing my research about becoming pregnant again, after 8yrs, and was awaiting a call from two specialists to make appointments. The fertility specialist called me, finally, but the call didn't go as planned. See, I had my tubes tied in 2000, knowing full well I wouldn't want to go through what I did in 1995. I don't regret the decision, but want a child of my own, with my dh. I was basically told that my insurance would more than likely not cover and IVF and that the cost is upwards of $10,000! [:0] I don't have that kind of money now.

My dh and I always talked adoption from the time we met. While I am waiting for my insurance company to let me know if anything would be covered, we made an appointment with an adoption agency. The agency is Catholic Charities, in our area, they go through the whole process and it is based on a sliding scale, based on your income.

I know a few women on this board have stated they are not going to get pregnant again and will adopt. I was wondering if they had started the process, could shed some light on it, and if there is also an adoption forum out there that I could look in on.

Thank you for your continued support....{{{{hugs}}}} to all the mom's![:)]

Kris (34)
DH, Tom (33)
Tyler 3-9-95 to 3-23-95 (26 wks pe/HELLP)

tkstevens@sbcglobal.net or kstevens@cga.uscg.mil

[angelical]

Hi! I'm a 2002 pree survivor, and a preadoptive mom. Even though our son did survive his 28-week delivery, we DO NOT want to risk another pregnancy. But we want more kids.

The more that my dh & I discussed adoption, and read into the process, the more we realized that 'waiting child' adoption is the way for us to go. That means we are adopting through the social services agency, and we probably will end up with a child(ren) older than 4 (if not older than 7).

Having a 'baby' isn't important to us, though... actually we'd rather not have one... I'd never trade the early months of Aaron's life for anything, but I don't want to repeat it either!

and there are so many older kids out there that need a family.

I suggest that you go to http://forums.adoption.com to read about other people's experiences with adoption...of all kinds: infant, international, and waiting child.

I have heard good things about Catholic Charities, by the way. [8D]

Good luck with your decision. You have to decide what is best for you and your family.

By the way, as for where we are in the process... We started everything in May; began the homestudy, training, background checks, etc in June; finished all that at the end of August; and have been searching for our children since then. With any luck and good fortune, we will have placement by next summer... it could be tomorrow or never though.

Take care! and feel free to ask me any more specific questions. soconnell@nttc.edu

Sharel

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Sharel & Kevin
Aaron - 28 weeker
Born 5/2/02 due to preeclampsia & HELLP

Our miracle boy is doing great!!

[angelical]

By the way, in most cases, waiting child adoptions are FREE.

*The state doesn't charge anything for the homestudy, training, etc

*There is a reimbursement for any costs you do have (CPR training, background checks, etc)

*In many cases the kids get a subsidy even after adoption

*There is a flat $10,000 tax credit for any special needs adoptions (older than 5; sibling group; medical/emotional/etc needs) that can be spread across 5 years


So far, we have only paid for $100 CPR/first aid classes and $40 for criminal/child abuse checks... all that will be reimbursed at finalization.

Take care.
Sharel

------------------------
Sharel & Kevin
Aaron - 28 weeker
Born 5/2/02 due to preeclampsia & HELLP

Our miracle boy is doing great!!

[kdreher]

Sharel,

Thank you for the feedback. I remember reading the posts you wrote about not having another baby yourself. I understand everyone's points of view and respect that.

I have to be selfish and say that I want a baby...I want to go through sleepness nights, diapers, crankiness, etc because I didn't get that with Tyler. One day I hope to be able to bring more children in to our family.

Funny you mention the adoptions forum, I found it last night. A bit overwhelming, but looks to be very helpful. I wish you the best with finding your "baby". I'm sure you will keep us posted. Thank you for giving me your email address, I may take you up on the offer once I get to our first appointment.



Kris (34)
DH, Tom (33)
Tyler 3-9-95 to 3-23-95 (26 wks pe/HELLP)

tkstevens@sbcglobal.net or kstevens@cga.uscg.mil

[angelical]

Please don't think of yourself as selfish for wanting a baby! It is a truly wonderful experience!!

And there are babies out there to be adopted! If you want a healthy, white newborn, your wait and/or expense might be high, but it is still possible. If you are more flexible on what you want, then the wait, at least, could go down.

Good luck to you as you make your decision. And I'll keep everyone updated on our process, too!

Sharel

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Sharel & Kevin
Aaron - 28 weeker
Born 5/2/02 due to preeclampsia & HELLP

Our miracle boy is doing great!!