by craigh (42 Posts), Thu Aug 24, 2006 03:56 pm
Hello, I'm HeatherH's husband. Boy that is a very difficult situation, Heather was telling me about you the other day. Unfortunately there is no way we can tell what is going to happen, there is a chance things could go wrong but there is also a chance that nothing will happen at all, only the man upstairs knows for sure. Our situation is very similar, Hayden was taken to the NICU and Heather was struggling for her life. As a husband, there isn't anything in the world that makes you feel more helpless then that because there isn't a thing we can do but watch and pray. So that being said, I can see where he is coming from. However, if Heather ended up pregnant again (even though drs say she shouldn't) I would see it threw. I know the risks are huge but some things are better left to a higher power. I would not be able to live with myself, looking back, asking "what if" if we chose to have it aborted. Though it would be devastating to loose the child or Heather during or after delivery, I would know in my heart that they were chosen by god to join him & Shane in heaven. I would handle that better then looking back for the rest of my life asking, "what if". I would also take comfort in the drs, they were able to care for you as they did Heather so that now everything is ok. You, as was Heather, were very close to dying, yet they were able to pull you threw to recovery, there is no reason they shouldn't be able to do that again. Yes it is uncertain that you would make it threw it again, but equally uncertain is that it would even happen again. All we can really do is pray for the best and have faith in both the drs. and god. I would tell him to read this forum and as much as he could about PE and HELLP so that he could help watch for the warning signs, so he had a good understanding of the diseases and also so if you did go threw it again, he knows what to expect, what the doctors are talking about and also what and why they are treating you for it the way they are. The most important thing is to find drs that you and he are comfortable with, that will make all the difference. Refer him to this site, I found it extremely helpful with our situation, not only for the knowledge base but the piece of mind knowing that we weren't the only ones out there with these issues. Show him my username, I'd be more then happy to talk to him at any time if he wanted.
Good Luck and god bless!