Need some advice! Long...

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taras mom
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Re : Need some advice! Long...

Postby taras mom » Wed Jun 11, 2008 03:29 am

I have no experience with family court, but everything I've read emphasizes the importance of documentation. Keep a written log of dates, times, events, witnesses--any information that supports your claims. That way, if you decide not to go to court until after the baby is born, you'll have a record of everything that has happened in the meantime, and you won't have to rely on your memory. Also, let him know that you're keeping records and that you intend to use them; that way, he won't get the idea that you're just letting things slide, and maybe it will motivate him to stick to your agreement. Good luck!

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Re : Need some advice! Long...

Postby hvsmith » Sun Jun 08, 2008 02:57 pm

Hi amarah,

I just wanted to say that I understand all too well what you are going through. My custody issues have lasted since 2004. The unfortunate part about it is that matters of custody are rarely "finished"... they can always be revisited in court.

That said, and with our experiences being the same, I do believe that if you have a court order in hand, and you know that it is not being followed by your ex, you can go to the Sheriff's department and ask that someone accompany you while you go and enforce the order. This won't work unless you know that the order is actively being violated when you go there, for example, the Sheriff could accompany you to go and retrieve your daughter at your ex's parents house if there is no order in place that says they should be there. You may be able to do this a few times, and it's free, and the Sheriff is there to ensure that it goes smoothly.

Again, I am very sorry that you have to deal with this. Like I said, it rings very true with me. I don't want to post the details for the reasons Fiona mentioned, but my heart is with you.

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Re : Need some advice! Long...

Postby fiona » Sun Jun 08, 2008 02:35 pm


I am so sorry things are tough for you right now, and I hope it all gets sorted out soon.

I do need to remind everyone that we can't allow details of legal proceedings to take place on the forum. This is to protect both you and the PF: anything posted online or sent via email is discoverable by law and can be used in court.

I would just reiterate that stress may temporarily affect your BP, but it does not cause preeclampsia. If you're going to get pe again (and I hope you don't), the blueprint for that was laid down at conception. That said, nobody needs extra stress in pregnancy. Again, I hope things can be resolved quickly.

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Re : Need some advice! Long...

Postby aggie95mom » Sun Jun 08, 2008 11:03 am

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. My sister-in-law has been fighting a custody battle for what seems like a really long time. Just seems so unfair.

I have to agree that stress alone isn't going to cause pre-e from what the experts have said around here. That being said, though, if the stress isn't good for your BP, it probably isn't good to have elevated BP all the time either ... if that happens for you. Keep track of your health, maybe ask your OB's opinion?

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Re : Need some advice! Long...

Postby korie » Sat Jun 07, 2008 08:19 pm

I can't give advice on what you should do in this situation, because i just don't know...BUT from what I have heard and read there isn't anything you can do to cause yourself to get pre-e again. I don't think it is stress related. Sorry you are dealing with this.

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Need some advice! Long...

Postby amarah » Sat Jun 07, 2008 07:53 pm

So Im due to have this baby august 1st. In the first half of my pregnancy I was in and out of family law court, over a custody case w/ my ex for my 2 year old. We finally came to some what of an agreement about 2 months ago. The whole ordeal w/ exhausting, stressfull, and expensive. Now he seems to be breaking almost everything in our contract, he dosnt call me back when he has her, which he is supposed to do, he keeps sending her to his parents over night. Without giving me the first right of refusal, which he supposed to do. And his trashy wife is continuing to bad mouth both me and my daughter. Im stuck because I need to file for court again to get these things fixed, but I dont want to put my body back through all of the stress, and throw myself into preeclampsia again. I just want to know what you ladies would do. How can I get him to follow the rules, but also not be in court every 2 months.........Stressed!


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