I am sooo sorry that this happened to you.
One of the things my grief group has talked about is setting expectations. Writing a letter to your family, friends and co-workers explaining how you feel and how you expect to be treated. If it were me, I would have wanted her to tell me prior to being caught in a meeting with it. She should have approached you privately and given you a chance to absorb the information and let you feel.
We are here for you, so vent away! ((Hugs))
A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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