Is it normal to be so scared?

Are you part of the NICU club? Do you have a child who is still struggling with the effects of being born too soon from preeclampsia? Share your concerns and stories here among parents who have been there.

Re : Is it normal to be so scared?

Postby tree » Wed Jun 10, 2009 06:33 pm

It is perfectly normal. My little girl was only there for a short time, and I thought I was completely fine with it. Turns out I was just sick... It really helped me to call anytime I thought about her and couldn't get there. I was lucky enough to be able to go every day. My Mom drove me until I lifted my own driving restriction. Her pediatrician would also call me around the same time each day. It helped knowing that it was almost certainly a routine call.
I completely freaked out when they told me she was coming home. She had a dramatic and sudden improvement in her feedings. They told me on Wednesday that she would probably be another week (really sad day), then on Thursday that she would almost certainly come home on Friday. I panicked that we couldn't take care of her at home and thought she would be safer in the NICU. I was so happy to be able to bring her home and so scared at the same time. I know this isn't what you asked about, but you might want to know that those mixed feelings are equally normal. It seemed strange after looking forward to that day for what seemed like an eternity.
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Re : Is it normal to be so scared?

Postby dolphinjen » Thu Jun 11, 2009 09:54 am

quote:
Originally posted by tree

I was so happy to be able to bring her home and so scared at the same time.



I experienced the same thing with my son. He wasn't nearly as premature as my daughter, I wasn't as worried about him b/c he seemed to be almost a term baby in many ways. But I felt that way too, here I wanted him home, then when I found out he could come home I totally doubted my ability to replicate what the nurses were doing for him. I worried so much about SIDS. I obsessed about SIDS. I expect I will go through that with Lily too, until she hits that 12 month mark, or at least during the 4-6 month danger period.

mlcoltrain, I can't believe what you went through, only being able to see her on weekends...you poor thing, that must have been so difficult. I'm so glad things turned out well.
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Re : Is it normal to be so scared?

Postby tree » Thu Jun 11, 2009 09:47 pm

Hi Jenny - I hope your daughter is continuing to do well and that you are able to see her more as you recover.
I was thinking about this a lot last night, and I remembered some of the other families that were in the NICU when we were there. One of my neighbors is a NICU social worker, and she confirmed my feelings that the NICU nurses see some family situations that are totally heart breaking. I think they are reassured when you call a lot and visit when you can because they know it is normal to care that much. They seemed to think it was strange when people didn't call. They want the parents involved in the care as much as possible, and sometimes that means a lot of phone calls when you can't be there. I called a lot and really reduced my worrying once I realized they actually wanted me to do it.
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Re : Is it normal to be so scared?

Postby dolphinjen » Fri Jun 12, 2009 00:09 am

tree - that is really comforting to know b/c I'm the kind of person who hates to bother people, and I feel like I'm bothering the nurses when I call. The times I have called they have always been really nice about telling me how she's doing. Given what you've said I think I will feel comfortable calling more often b/c it really does calm my nerves. Thank you.
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