Light Are On and I Think I'm Home

So, the baby's born, what comes next? Discuss your postpartum and parenting concerns here.

Light Are On and I Think I'm Home

Postby kbunsey » Tue Sep 21, 2010 10:16 pm

Hi. I've been off the PF for a while. I needed a break, plus it was summer and I was spending too much time at home, isolated from other adults and getting pretty bizarro. I'm back at work now (teacher) and that's good for me. Kyle is doing great! He's getting sooooo big and has 7 teeth and cruising furniture and babbling all sorts of cute noises, giggling and super social.

Here's my really good news: The lights are back on and I think I honestly feel pretty good. One day in August I was outside and just thought, "Oh. Wow. The grass is green and the sky is blue." Like somebody turned my vision from black&white to color again. My postpartum depression was AWFUL! Well...and probably just central nervous system overload and grief and ... I went through this terribly angry phase in the spring. I was getting really worried about myself and wondering if I was ever going to feel better. I was mad, too, b/c people kept saying stuff like, "You should be happy - you have Kyle now." And I was totally isolating b/c I didn't want to expose how I was feeling to anyone and I was so sad and mad and not enjoying my time w/ Kyle sometimes b/c I was still so sad about Fiona and probably just hormonally wacked from everything. It stunk!

I donno. I think I'm OK. At least for now. Thursday is Fiona's expected due date from 2008 and we plan to take her gravesite a pumpkin and flowers, but I think I feel OK. Meaning I'm not breaking down or drowning in sorrow. For now.

I have A LOT of catching up to do here. Thank you for reading!
kbunsey
Registered User
 
Posts: 895
Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 08:36 am

Re : Light Are On and I Think I'm Home

Postby mnmom » Wed Sep 22, 2010 01:04 pm

Hi Katie! Good to see you and great update. Isn't that "ok" realization wonderful? I have been having a less than wonderful summer, but just last week as I sat on the step watching the boys play, I had that realization that hey, I'm ok!!!! I hope teaching is going well!
mnmom
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 1419
Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2007 11:03 am

Re : Light Are On and I Think I'm Home

Postby caryn » Wed Sep 22, 2010 06:46 pm

You know, I bet it had something to do with the fact that other people were telling you how you were supposed to be feeling. Instead of, you know, asking.

Good to see you back. :)
User avatar
caryn
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 10105
Joined: Fri Jun 25, 2004 06:36 am

Re : Light Are On and I Think I'm Home

Postby wrennie » Wed Sep 22, 2010 11:40 pm

katie, thats great!! glad to hear it!
wrennie
Registered User
 
Posts: 1019
Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2007 02:12 pm

Re : Light Are On and I Think I'm Home

Postby aundapenner » Fri Sep 24, 2010 05:38 pm

Katie - great to "see" you back here. I, too, have been on a bit of a hiatus, trying to adjust to well, life.

After Sofia's birth, I purchased a book about ppd - this isn't what I expected. Since dealing with PPD since Henry's birth, I just thought the feelings I have had were normal. And, like you, I was always told how I should feel and made to feel as though my anger, my sadness, my weariness were my own doing.

I just yesterday picked this book back up - and shocked myself that I was waaaay back in the first part of the book. Guess I wasn't ready for too much more.

Know that it takes time to work through it all ... and allow yourself to have good days and bad ones.

I am thrilled to read that you were able to really see the sky and appreciate it all ... those things are still hard for me some days. And wow! Your little man is doing so well!
aundapenner
Registered User
 
Posts: 1624
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 12:52 am

Re : Light Are On and I Think I'm Home

Postby rosemary » Sun Sep 26, 2010 07:26 pm

Katie..welcome back! So glad to read your update...and that you are doing well.
User avatar
rosemary
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 2358
Joined: Tue Sep 07, 2004 09:02 pm
Location: Central, PA

Re : Light Are On and I Think I'm Home

Postby milesymommy » Mon Sep 27, 2010 02:55 pm

Katie,
Glad to hear you feel so much better. I am lucky... my husband is very understanding.
I started taking prozac this year, and it really helped. Work was really mundane for me for a long time, and its now picked up. I think working (and having something to do at work!) really helps the spirit and helps keep your mind from dwelling on things and replaying things.
((HUGS))
milesymommy
Registered User
 
Posts: 336
Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2009 07:30 pm

Re : Light Are On and I Think I'm Home

Postby jmom08 » Sat Oct 02, 2010 03:07 pm

I am so sorry about your PPD and everything you have been through. Hugs to you and Kyle. I am glad that the sky is blue again, and hope you keep feeling better and better. :)
jmom08
Registered User
 
Posts: 486
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2009 06:32 pm


Return to After your baby is born .....

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests