Patti, Ryan sounds like he shares a diet with my almost 6 year old. He was a good eater until we stopped pureed food, then his appetite dropped to nothing. He also had a strong gag reflex, and he still does. Our doc has never been concerned because he's always been a little guy so his curve is consistent. Until *very* recently, Nicolas' diet (since he's been eating table foods) has consisted of bananas, toddler cereal bars, yogurt, and applesauce - he's also mad about any type of bread product, but since he's such a poor eater, those are very limited). He has, however, always drank milk to the exclusion of other liquids. Just recently, he's started eating grilled cheese sandwiches, more fruits, bare pasta, and attempting to *taste* new foods. He'll be six in June and weighs 38 pounds directly following a meal.
A few months ago, we(I) were insistent that he eat at least ONE pea from his portion at dinner. After much coaxing, he proceeded to place one pea in his mouth, chew it, and throw up all over the table.
I continue to offer him what everyone else is eating. He's seen vegetables on his plate for years now, and he will for years to come - even if he does refuse to eat them. The best I can do is make sure that what he *does* put in his body is healthy because there's no room for error, IMO. My daughter, OTOH, is an exceptional eater. She eats beans, hummus, salsa, any vegetable, any fruit, any pasta/sauce, etc, and we did absolutely nothing different with her than we did/do with Nicolas. FWIW, I lived on peanut butter sandwiches and milk for several years in my own childhood (but I LOVE food now, LOL). As frustrated as I get with Nicolas, I can also identify with it. Just keep offering good choices like you're doing now; I know what a concern/frustration/pain it is to deal with when you feel like there's something you should be able to do to "fix" it.