need help understanding my wifes passing

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Re : need help understanding my wifes passing

Postby annegarrett » Thu Jan 28, 2010 11:57 pm

Echoing everyone's comments--so sorry about your loss. It strikes very close to home for me as the reason the Preeclampsia Foundation was started was because I was readmitted a week postpartum with a BP of 180/120 and no one appreciated how serious it was. As others have pointed out, we're not doctors, but I do know that the point at which the medical establishment worry is higher for non-pregnant women. A woman who is pregnant will get attention at a lower (but still high pressure) because of the risk to the baby. My BP didn't cause anyone to get excited (other than a public health nurse) and I was sent home without medication the following day.

I'd request the records and ask for someone to review them with you, an independent doctor to help understand what happened.

So very sorry. There are other dads here who've been where you are--it might be valuable to connect with them and Eleni can likely help with that.

Take care and know we're here.

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Re : need help understanding my wifes passing

Postby blythe » Thu Jan 28, 2010 08:54 pm

Maria, I just wanted to say welcome to you, and thank you for sharing. I'm glad you found us, but sorry you had to. Keep posting, we're glad you're here!

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Re : need help understanding my wifes passing

Postby mje » Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:36 am


I am sorry to hear of your loss and wish you and your family much love. I do hope one day you can find some healing.

I would like to share our story with you:

In my third trimester we were traveling on the highway to go look at a prospective home when someone hit our car on my side. I was rushed to the hospital and was monitored for 24 hours. I had many contractions and did not go into labor. Thank God.

Throughout the rest of my pregnancy I had many contractions, these were not Braxton Hicks. I kept telling my doctors that I did not feel good and that something was wrong. I had swelling in my hands, feet, and face; I could hardly move. Although, my test results came back negative for preterm labor and preeclampsia and so it was ignored.

At 35w 6d my water broke at 3am. My husband helped me labor until about 8am, when he decided it was time to go to the hospital. We called the doctor and a covering doctor advised me ot go to the hospital. During this admittance, hospital interns administered a test to see if I was in preterm labor; needless to say, the test results were negative. I was given a shot and sent home.

About an hour later, the laboring returned and this time in full force! Upon me vomiting, my husband once again made the decision - back to the hospital. We called the doctor again, and we were off to teh hospital. He returned our call when we were in the driveway of the hospital and told us to return! I gave birth to our daughter at 7:26pm.

Elizabeth-Ann Marie was sent to the NICU and I to the maturnity ward. After 2 days, the doctor sent me home after I told him that I did not feel well and didn't think I should be sent home. My legs were double their size, and the nurses had to take my blood pressure at least 3 times until it was ok. My doctor told me "If this was 40 years ago, I could let you stay with the baby. The insurance company will not pay for you to stay."

I was sent home only to return the following day with high Blood pressure. I did not feel good, I had horrid pains and couldnt move my legs. I was readmitted and hospital doctors diagnosed me with preeclampsia. When my doctor saw me he said "You don't have preeclampsia." I was kept a few days and his partner came in to tell me that I did indeed have preeclampsia. I was sent home when my blood pressure was kept abay, without meds.

2 days later, I was preparing to go see Elizabeth-Ann in the NICU and decided to take my blood pressure. It was 180/118. When I arrived at the NICU, I said "I just took my blood pressure" I gave them the results. They popped me in a wheel chair, took my blood pressure and rushed me to the ER. I was readmitted and placed on magnesium sulfate and blood pressure meds. This time I was sent home with meds.

I was in the hospital for a total of 10 days, and Elizabeth-Ann spent 11 days in the NICU. She suffered with breathing, eating, and heart troubles. I missed the first few days of her life becuase I was ill and they had me overdrugged on percasets (I ended up getting sick over that too).

I do not know if the car accident had any impact on the pregnancy or my health. Needless to say, science is not accurate - it is a guessing game.

Our story is not a fatal one, but did leave marks on our hearts. I almost died 2 times and I do not know if I want to put myself in that situation again. My husband was teh rock for my daughter and me. He is the greatest man I know and I do not know how I could have handled what happened.

I do hope you get some answers and some sort of healing.
I hope our story helped you.


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Re : need help understanding my wifes passing

Postby aajatwins » Wed Jan 27, 2010 07:45 pm

My heart aches for you and your family. I was not diagnosed with PE until I delivered. I delivered via emergency c-section because I seized. A friend & multiple mom told me that she had a similar experience - no problems until 2 weeks after delivery. She also seized (2 weeks post-partum). I don't understand why it sometimes happens there at the end or after the fact, but I know that it does happen.
My prayers are with you.

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Re : need help understanding my wifes passing

Postby rsgeller » Tue Jan 26, 2010 02:40 pm

I am so terribly sorry to hear about your wife. I pray that you find the answers you need and the comfort to give you peace. My heart goes out to you and your family.

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Re : need help understanding my wifes passing

Postby rosemary » Tue Jan 19, 2010 06:01 pm

Van, I am so sorry to read your story...and so incredibly sorry for the loss of your dear wife. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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Re : need help understanding my wifes passing

Postby annes » Tue Jan 19, 2010 11:56 am

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious wife. Take care of yourself.

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Re : need help understanding my wifes passing

Postby amanda » Tue Jan 19, 2010 11:28 am

I also am so sorry for the loss of your wife. Preeclampsia is just such a horrible disease. Please know that I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

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Re : need help understanding my wifes passing

Postby ckthomas05 » Tue Jan 19, 2010 10:44 am

I am sorry for your loss.

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Re : need help understanding my wifes passing

Postby beth11 » Mon Jan 18, 2010 01:36 pm

I'm in tears over your loss. I am so, so sorry. Preeclampsia is a devastating disease and, it seems, particularly hard to comprehend when it shows up postpartum. I wish you luck as you search for answers, and some bit of peace as you move forward.

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