Health Paranoia after Pre-E

[beth0277]

Okay, so I developed severe PPPE and the jury is still out on whether it caused me to have heart failure. Some doctors have said yes, some say they can't say for sure. At any rate, I have been a total nut job since having it worrying about my health.

I have spent literally hundreds of hours researching Pre-e's affect on your heart and I have read numerous reports that say even a year after having PE, women's hearts have minor abnormalities that those with normotensive pregancies do not have. So knowing that all women with PE have these abnormalities should make me feel better, but it doesn't. I got an echo done when they were diagnosing me because they were unsure if I had PE or PP Cardiomyopathy. Thank God that was ruled out but the echo still showed some minor abnormalities. I had a few follow ups, most recently at 4 months PP and it is now inconclusive, can't say if it is normal but can't say if it is abnormal either.

I am just an emotional wreck. I have been put on anti anxiety medication but still can't deal with this all well. I feel like noone understands what it is like to go through PE and all the aftermath. I'm guilty myself of thinking it was a minor condition before I had it.

Why is it that even after I read countless reports that tell me that all women with a history of PE have minor cardiac abnormalities even 1 year after delivering that I still can't get it into my head that I am not some rare case that is going to keel over in the next few months?

Does anyone else feel like this now?

[tree]

Short answer, yes.
You went through *, and your body is going to need some time to recover. You mind is going to need more time to process everything, and sometimes "paranoia"/"hypochondria" is part of that processing. It does get better. I started counseling about a year post-partum, and it has made a big difference for me. I didn't think I was going to keel over randomly, but I was afraid to do the things I love to do. You can't live your life that way. Talking to a professional might help. Venting and chatting here helps many of us.
Be kind to your self. I hope it helps to know that many of us went through variations of this.

[kellikbock]

I can understand...I think that having PE is pretty horrible & when you have it PP, it freaks you out a bit further because you NEVER hear of it, anywhere (only on THESE forums on perhaps a small blurb after a brief description of PE).
I mean, you know that the "cure" for PE is delivery, but what if you have already delivered? What then? What's the cause? How did it happen? How did I fall into this extrememly rare category?
I was terrified of having a heart attack or stroke for months upon months after my PP PE experience. Every time I had a muscle pain in my left arm, neck or headache I'd worry. I'd take my BP (still do) and try to sit & do nothing. It drove me crazy.
Then I got crazy about being on BP meds (still am on them)...why do I need them? Will this be forever? I'm too young...bla bla bla...Is there something else causing this...it went on and on
WELL, I am now 20 months PP and am going to TTC again, lol So, yes, I was crazy & I'm still a bit scared...but it does get better ;0) All in time, my dear! If not, I'd look into counceling for your fears and anxiety... =0)

[mellybute]

I am a year PP and it took me I would say atleast 6 months or so to stop totally obsessing about every little weird thing that happened. I still do it from time to time, but not nearly as bad. I was convinced I was going to have a heart attack or stroke too post partum. I am still on bp med too and it took me quite awhile to accept that. But I have now.

I was a little worry wort before having PP PE, but now, oh I have been to almost every kind of specialist and had everything checked out. My cardiologist has done one echo and about 3 EKG's and assures me my heart is fine, healthy, young, etc.

I think when our bodies "fail" us in these pregnancies, it IS very traumatic. I know I had some PTSD to some extent and I am alive and my baby lived.

I started taking Zoloft about 6 weeks pp and am weaning off of it now. In one more week I will be done with it. I feel great and feel healthy other than this weight I still need to lose.

I have CHT now and atleast I can take a pill and it's great. It could be worse.

hang in there and def know you are not alone!!! Come to this forum often and talk to these wonderful women who get where you are.

[brismom]

I can totally relate to the trauma.