I set here on the couch and read these posts. How depressing they can be but yall know what........what survivors we are! We are true survivors! When I had pre-e and was in the hospital, I didn't know if I was going to live or die. For those of us that has experienced loss.....we have endured a life altering event that has both physical and mental effects' on each of us all of our lives. And it not only stops there. It goes to some of us being nervous about our health, I have heard some say they are now hypocondriacts (but how could you not be after dealing with these syndromes!), have had some say they would never get pregnant again, and the list goes on.
So I just want to say THANK YOU and I want to wrap my arms around each of you and say thank you for being the strong person you are. It may not seem like we are strong but we are! We still get up in the mornings though it can be hard, go to work, come home and get supper ready, tend to the family and husband's, go to bed and get back up the next morning and the cycle starts over. I just hate it when people say to me...you look like you are handling it well. I always tell them that I only *look* that way but really I am P***** that our daughter died and I almost did and that pre-e has made me a nervous WRECK adn that my smile is fake, it is just there to hide my pain. But then ladies, I think of how our little girl struggled for an hour and 20 minutes to live, to breath with no lungs. That little Barbie sized baby girl of mine showed me a true meaning of being a fighter. I now have taken her strength to heart and her inspiration. We are now TTC and am excited cause I want to be able to give my hubbster children, even if one and I want our kid(s) to learn about big sister, Darren. Pre-e changed my life for the worse but Darren changed it for the better. She made me a mom, something that none other has. One child makes you a mom, another makes you a better mom and my experince with all this has made me smarter and more in tune to my pregnancy(ies).
In the end, this Saturday, Halloween day, would have been the day Darren would have been born on. She will always be my pumpkin. None other will take her place. She will always have a place in my heart, mind, body and soul. I wish all of you the absolute best in life and good pregnancy outcomes, if you have more. I am not puting my life and my chances of having a baby because pre-e put me in these shoes. Pre-e will no longer run my life....I will! Each of you has helped in every way, I thank each of you for that. All of you have gave me hope some has gave me tears and some has inspired me but one thing is true about all of us....we are TRUE survivors! If you think about the little research and funds available for it, lack of proper diagnosis with pre-e we have truely beat the odds at life for both mother and baby. There isn't just one life at stake, it is 2. Ladies I luv each of ya....thanks for your help and keep the hope alive that our childrens generation will not have to endure the life long pain we have in us. It is horrible to be in these shoes but good to know there is us who has been through this to give each support to.
I write this in honor of our daughter birth and death, Rissa-Janelle Darren King. We will hold a memorial Saturday for her. This will start a once a year event. It is the start of Darren's Promise.....the promise to make a difference.
Thank you Ladies....WE ARE SURVIVORS!