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Missing my Naomi after birth of little sister

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Missing my Naomi after birth of little sister

Postby naomihope427 » Wed Sep 22, 2010 02:06 pm

by naomihope427 (247 Posts), Wed Sep 22, 2010 02:06 pm

I don;t know how fast post partum depression can start or happen or my grief is just carrying on from all the emotions and hormones, but since being in hospital and at home I have cried and cried and cried.

I cannot stop thinking about Naomi, I see SOOO much of Naomi in my new daughter. I see a not so good picture. I see 100% the picture of Naomi at her memorial, every time I look at my baby sleeping I just am happy yet I cry sometimes.

I just am wondering is this normal? And I am worried I will get severe post partum..any one else experience this? A loss and having a difficult time with new baby? Yes I am very thankful but I hurt ALOT, and people do not seem to understand. I knew this would happen but not to this effect...
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Re : Missing my Naomi after birth of little sister

Postby uncskristy » Wed Sep 22, 2010 02:42 pm

by uncskristy (170 Posts), Wed Sep 22, 2010 02:42 pm

Since my loss is so recent, I can not say that I have experienced this with a newborn child after losing Cooper but I am 100% sure I will have the mixed emotions like this if we have another child. I look at Cooper's big brother Davis and think would Cooper look like him, would he act like him and I start to imagine these things and then it just makes me sad. Its not like I don't appreciate or love Davis any less but Cooper is my child as well and he deserves to be missed. Honestly I think you would not be normal to go through losing Naomi and not feeling this way.
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Re : Missing my Naomi after birth of little sister

Postby rosemary » Wed Sep 22, 2010 09:55 pm

by rosemary (2360 Posts), Wed Sep 22, 2010 09:55 pm

Jill..I can't speak from personal experience, but I do know that we have other Moms who have gone through loss, and had a tough time when the next little one came along. We have all had to deal with the hormones postpartum, that alone can be really rough. Adding all of the emotions of grief to that, it has to be hard. You have been through so much in the last year or so, losing your sweet Naomi, and a difficult pregnancy with your Sadie. Give yourself a little time to adjust. If you're really worried or feel too overwhelmed, maybe an option would be to look for some additional support with a counselor.

My thoughts are with you...(((HUGS)))
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Re : Missing my Naomi after birth of little sister

Postby wrennie » Wed Sep 22, 2010 11:31 pm

by wrennie (1019 Posts), Wed Sep 22, 2010 11:31 pm

i definitely can relate, it is very overwhelming. I found that I focused so much on getting a baby here, that I didnt really prepare for a baby. I was so sleep deprived, so freaking scared something was going to happen to her, just so aware of the fragility of life. I have to say as I got used to a routine, over months, that it got much easier for me. I still worry so much that something bad will happen to her, but i am trying to work on managing that. I imagine this is very normal, but try to take it one day at a time...deep breaths and see your OB/counselor about it if you need to...there is nothing wrong with getting help. You have been through a lot and now is the time for you to enjoy a sweet baby in your arms. Naomi will always be there with you, in your heart, and shine through in your love for your new baby Sadie...sending you hugs.
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Re : Missing my Naomi after birth of little sister

Postby kerisue » Thu Sep 23, 2010 00:00 am

by kerisue (623 Posts), Thu Sep 23, 2010 00:00 am

like Kristy, it's too soon after my loss for me to have another child, but if i'm lucky enough in the future i'm sure i will feel exactly the same as you.
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Re : Missing my Naomi after birth of little sister

Postby m » Thu Sep 23, 2010 00:21 am

by m (140 Posts), Thu Sep 23, 2010 00:21 am

Jill, I wrote a very similar post not long after my daughter was born in March. ([url]http://www.preeclampsia.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=38985[/url]) On the one hand, having a new baby was wonderful, but at the same time everything was a painful reminder of all the things we missed out on with our baby boy. I'm sure I would have experienced this no matter what, but I really think that post partum hormones played a big part as well. Considering that many women have emotional issues after a birth anyway, I'm sure it's perfectly normal to have even stronger emotions after a loss.

Give yourself some time; it took me about a month of ups and downs until I really started to feel back to normal.
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Re : Missing my Naomi after birth of little sister

Postby jules2 » Thu Sep 23, 2010 04:36 am

by jules2 (514 Posts), Thu Sep 23, 2010 04:36 am

I don't really have any advice, but reckon I might feel exactly the same (now 26 weeks pregnancy with a girl after losing my daughter at 26 weeks). Ask for help if you need it; you've been through an awful lot to get Sadie. I hope you start to feel better soon x
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Re : Missing my Naomi after birth of little sister

Postby naomihope427 » Thu Sep 23, 2010 11:26 am

by naomihope427 (247 Posts), Thu Sep 23, 2010 11:26 am

Oh thank you so so much, I was hesitant about posting because I thought oh I may be wrong or something. But yeah i will speak to my doctor next week when I go for checkup!
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