I have developed panic attacks as a result from PE and Henry's passing, so I really understand how you are feeling.
At the moment I stay away from my BP machine, since just looking at it freaks me out. A week ago when I saw my primary care physician, my BP was normal.
My MFM told me, when I was released from the hospital, that even when I was anxious and nervous, or stressed, my BP would go up, however, it should not stay elevated.
I am not sure how I can overcome my fears, or even think of TTC with the anxiety I am experiencing.
I understand you so well.
@miracal_momma: your BP is really high. Perhaps, you want to check with your doctors?