More babies & pregnant ladies. Can I get a break?

[riehlism]

I posted some time ago that there were about 6 pregnant women around me. Now there are 3 pregnant women (one of them probably popping one out as we speak), and 4 babies. Another friend just announced she was having a baby yesterday. I'm not taking this well.

I know I'm at that age where friends are getting married and having babies. But I need to catch a break. It's only been 4 months since I lost my son. I'm feeling an inexplicable urge to have a baby. I feel like my mind is consumed with that thought. Part of it is the feeling that my story should have been written differently. And the other part of that is I've always wanted to be a mom.

It frustrates me that I'm surrounded by such happy endings, and that my husband doesn't feel the same urgency that I do to quell my empty arms. He's being quite cautious and still grieving. I'm ready, but frustrated.

[preemomof2]

I feel the same way. Everytime I see a pregnant women I wonder why me. Life is so unpredictable. I'm confused as to what I want to do. The one thing I do know is that I want to try again. I'm so afraid, however, I know that I will regret not trying.

[miamibunnie]

Hey Jasmine don't worry honey your not alone. We tend to notice these things because it is a desire that we want to be at. but dont worry soon your hubby will be ok with trying again. I believe in god and I see it this way he will decide when the time is right, at least thats my belief.

[brandonsmommy0813]

I completely understand!!! It seems like everyone around me is pregnant ,just had a baby, or just finding out they are pregnant. I want to be happy for them, but I can't cant get myself there yet. It was 2 months ago yesterday that I lost my son. Just when I think I am getting stronger, I find out someone is pregnant or had their baby and I find myself mad and sad. I don't even want to be mad, but I just feel it. Last night I had to walk out of a Weight Watchers meeting because the woman in front of me brought her 3 week old baby and everyone gathered around and made such a big production about the baby. I left in tears.

[holly3372@msn.com]

Wow,yeah I hear you.Same thing over here,pregnant bellies everywhere,babies holidays coming.UGH!This sunday will be 2 months that I lost my son.We too want to try again but are scared.I guess we will all get there when the time is right.Just want you to know I understand

[kerisue]

me too. though I'm not quite ready to try again, there's a part of me that thinks I shouldn't have to try again. I just wanted my one little girl.
A couple of my coworkers were talking about the one gal's babyshower today. I was standing right there. I don't want to be a buzzkill to their baby joy, but did they have to talk about that with me right there?!

[evancaleb10]

Jasmin, I totally understand where you're coming from. At the time I was pregnant, my very close cousin, sister-in-law-, and cousin's wife were also pregnant in addition to my co-worker and best friend who are still pregnant, thats 5 in total. Since losing my sweet angel 7 weeks ago 3 out of 5 of those babies have been born; the other 2 are due in december. I am very happy for them and mostly relieved that all went well but I'm also bombarded with baby pictures via cell phone every other day and reminded that my baby did not make it.

I'm planning to visit back home in a couple of weeks and this will be the first time I get to see their babies and the first time I will actually hold a baby since last saying good-bye to mine. I've recently been thinking about that moment and how I think I'm going to react and a couple of times I find myself very tearful at the thought. We all use to talk and joke about our babies growing up together and being good friends like we all are so I know it will hurt to be around them. But I'm sure it will hurt less and less as time goes on.

Jasmin, I believe in time your husband will come around. We all grieve at a different pace. And in time it will be you with that happy ending.

[jean]

I understand and can relate completely. I have a coworker that's pregnant, friends having babies, and my SIL is pregnant and due the same month we were supposed to be due. Almost 9 mos. pp and I am still a mess over everything. And like Kerisue, I also think I shouldn't have had to try again. We thought we were done. In fact a nurse had approached us in the NICU and said ppl tend to do better a second time, and we told her we weren't going to do it again. But then our son didn't make it...

My husband deals better with other ppl being pregnant. But I can't even watch a baby on tv anymore!

The time when we had talked about ttc is fast approaching and I am getting such anxiety that I feel like a mess. It's so unfair that we all are going through this pain.