New mom of a preemie

[ch3lsea]

My daughter was born August 26th...at 26 weeks due to severe pre-e. She's so tiny and I'm so scared for her :(. It's hard for my to go into the NICU...it breaks my heart to look at her. It's so hard to stay positive because she looks so weak. Did anyone else feel guilty after having their preemie? I know it's not my fault that I got sick and I had no other choice but to have her early but I feel so guilty. I wish I just could have kept her in for a few more weeks. :( My husband on the other hand it so positive, he says he just knows that she's going to be fine, I wish I could be as positive as him...I wish I had a crystal ball and could see the future =/ Please keep my baby girl in your thoughts and prayers. <3

[sarah0381]

Praying!!!! And hugs!!!!!

[breannesmith55]

Praying! and yes I felt guilty and horrible for my son. I couldn't be in the NICU at all times either, don't feel bad the nurses understand, I became very close to the nurses. An idea they suggested is to record myself reading books, and bring a little music player. It helped him to hear my voice when I couldn't be there and keep his brain stimulated.

[trish]

(((HUGS))) I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers.

[jacobkaden]

Oh yes, I remember the guilt! It is totally normal and yet totally unproductive. My son was born at 26 weeks as well, so I know how brutal the NICU is with your precious babe born so early. My doctor told me that girls tend to do better than boys in the NICU, so prayers that your daughter will sail through the NICU. Try to be gentle with yourself. On the positive side, your body held up through this horrible disease and both you and your daughter are alive -hugs. Try not to worry about the future (difficult, I know). Whatever the future brings, you will get through it one day at a time. Some advice that helped me was to not read about all the possible preemie issues, unless/until it applied to my son. It's not helpful to worry about things that may never come to pass.

[sarah0381]

Thinking about you and your daughter. How are things going??? Hope all is well!

[dohertyab]

Take some solace in your husband's positivity! What you described was exactly what I felt. The twins were 29 weeks but that still seemed so very small to me. Hubby just thought they looked beautiful and he says he knew they would be fine. He spent lots of time in the NICU. I couldn't bring myself to visit them for quite a while and then it was hard to spend much time with them. Instead of beating myself up about what I couldn't do (well at least that is what I said, it wasn't really that easy to do) I was glad he could be there for them and that it gave me the chance to recover and try to process what had happened and that I knew someone was looking out for the kids. After all, they are just as much his children as mine. I kept telling myself that there were things I could do and tried to focus on that - pumping, encouraging hubby to be there. I'm still sad that I couldn't have given them the start that I wanted but I have accepted that there wasn't anything I could do about it. HELLP just happens. I do look back and appreciate all that they accomplish since they did have such a rough start. That and I also realize that I have so many new ways to be both a good and poor parent over which I do have control that the preemie thing does fade into the background.

You have a long, hard road ahead of you in the NICU but remember you are not alone in the journey and keep asking for support, prayers or whatever you need. Good luck

[miamibunnie]

I know it is so hard to see your baby that little but preemies are fighters. My daughter was born at 25 weeks and she went thru her up and downs. But just think positive after 29-30 weeks you will feel much better. Also seeing her that small, it will get better. Those babys grow so quick, I always use to ask the nurses what are you feeding my baby...lol just be positive.

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Originally posted by Ch3lsea

My daughter was born August 26th...at 26 weeks due to severe pre-e. She's so tiny and I'm so scared for her :(. It's hard for my to go into the NICU...it breaks my heart to look at her. It's so hard to stay positive because she looks so weak. Did anyone else feel guilty after having their preemie? I know it's not my fault that I got sick and I had no other choice but to have her early but I feel so guilty. I wish I just could have kept her in for a few more weeks. :( My husband on the other hand it so positive, he says he just knows that she's going to be fine, I wish I could be as positive as him...I wish I had a crystal ball and could see the future =/ Please keep my baby girl in your thoughts and prayers. <3

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[ch3lsea]

Thank you for the prayers and encouraging words :)
Things have been going ok...Kayleigh was one week yesterday. She was on the vent and yesterday they decided to take her off of it and put her on the CPAP...so far she is doing well on it, praying that she continues to do ok with it! They started to give her breastmilk today...hopefully she'll tolerate it and it will help her grow and get stronger. She is fighting an infection right now and is on antibiotics =/ and they had tested for hepatitis, one test came back negative and another came back questionable so they're testing again...this terrifies me, please pray for her if you have a moment! They said it is unlikely that she has it, I don't have it...the only way she could have gotten it is through the blood transfusions she's gotten :( which they said has never happened before because the blood they use goes through thorough testing. So we're going to be on edge until we hear those results...ugh I'm very scared. On a good note she has been gaining a bit of weight the past few days...still so tiny...it still shocks me to see her so little.

[jenmatt1]

glad she is off the vent now- that is a good sign. The breastmilk will help with her immunity and fighting off infection too, so hopefully she does well with that. lots of thoughts and prayers to you and your family