ch3lsea, any update?
Wish I could just hug you... you sound just like me when Daniel was born. It's shocking, breath-taking, that sight... he was 1 pound and almost 1 ounce at 27 weeks. I couldn't believe a human could be that tiny and LIVE. I've seen bull frogs bigger. His skin was a roadmap and his chest moved in odd ways from the vent and I think his heart beating. That image is burned into my brain. I actually passed out just trying to take in the reality of him the first time I saw him. I was overjoyed (an understatement) that he was there, really, but I know... nothing can prepare you for that image. I kept wondering what we'd be doing in a month, two months, three... would he live? Would he have complications? Then you try to absorb and analyze everything that the doctors and nurses tell you. And yes, in an odd way, we feel guilty that our bodies don't work ideally, and you try not to be cynical when women pop out full term healthy babies without any prenatal care and complain about it. I did better when I finally settled into my "new normal" and focused on each day, not too much ahead. I wrote in a journal each day while I pumped. Sometimes that even helped to look back on to see if Daniel was showing a negative trend in something.
Our scariest moments included when Daniel fought a pneumonia infection, and recovered with antibiotics fully in a few weeks, showing major improvement after just a few days. He turned up with stage 2 retinopathy in his eyes which really scared me, but later it disappeared and he didn't need surgery. He had a bilateral inguinal hernia surgery right before he went home. We got so used to fighting the hurdles and staring at the monitors each day that it was a strange thing when the day came to unplug him from the monitor and take him home.
20 months later, he's perfect. He went from being below the growth charts to the 60th percentile. He has no vision, hearing, developmental, or other medical complications. He's had 2 stuffy noses since being home. Not even an ear infection. He's ahead in his speech with like 50 words and counting. It baffles me... really and truly, miracles happen.
I owe it 100% to God, though I think He gave me some tools to help my little man. The biggest are probably, mommy's milk (liquid gold for so many preemie systems), early physical therapy monitoring, Synagis vaccine for RSV (maybe that's why he's so healthy?), baby wearing, and my co-sleeper bassinet. The co-sleeper might have been more for my peace of mind than Daniel's benefit.
We had a few scary reflux nights early on, but he grew out of that later.
Hold that precious baby and know that things really can turn out to be all right. Anything is possible.