first of all - congratulations to your daughter! I have been following your story and am so happy she is here!
I think you are very considerate. I had my son in the UK and support is so much more difficult to get to there.
I started as you - with cracked, bleeding nipples and engorged breasts and all the pain. But then I ended feeding my son for three years.
So - you can get through this stage.
I think the engorgements is normal and does not necessarily mean that your baby isn't getting enough milk, but her weight gain is
obviously important. I second the Lasinoh. You can actually leave it on for the next feed. It's all natural. Also, I found it very easy to feed in the bath-tub. The milk so to say squirts out all by itself, and it's all warm and pre-birth like.... Also the newest things is no longer to bring the baby to the breast, but the breast to the baby. This definitely has worked better for me. In the worst times, I put the baby on it's back and leaned over it, free-swinging so to say. I am just saying here, experiment a little. This does not replace professional help, but
maybe you find something that works for you.
Were are you located? Could you call an independent midwife in your area. I am sure they would be happy to give you some consultation and they tend to be available during the holidays. Also, give La Letche a call. Finally there is excellent advice on http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/index.html
and mumsnet.com has a really good breastfeeding forum with lots of knowledgable women with local advice.
All the best. I would encourage you to persevere. The pain of the cracked nipples was about one week for me.
Agony, but a price worth paying.
Just to be clear, I very much respect women that decide not to breastfeed. But it seems to me just just need to get a little help with the start.