Living from cycle to cycle

[cmccaffrey]

Yes, I know I am crazy... but I seriously feel as though I am just counting down till go time. I am supposed to get off coumadin in the upcoming weeks and all I can think about is TTC again. I feel like every day I am counting down until my next period because I will be that much closer to trying again. I honestly don't want to think about it any more, but it's become a type of neurosis that I just can't stop. Has anyone had this? I am almost ashamed of how much I obsess over becoming pregnant. If my some of my friends knew, I am sure they would try to commit me. I've already spoke to my therapist about this... apparently its not abnormal, but I just wish I could possibly focus my attention elsewhere because I am sure time would go by more quickly then.

[trish9]

Christa I don't think that you are crazy at all. I think most of us that had a loss and want to try again probably feel like that. I have been obsessively thinking about TTC since about 6 or 7 months after our loss of Alexander, but I had to put a hold on everything until we got my kidney issues figured out. The time could not pass fast enough for me. Now that we have the green light though I am feeling really scared about what I could be facing. I am still 100% committed to trying, but the nerves are just kicking in. I wish none of us had to have so many fears about something that most women do everyday without problems!

[riehlism]

I was the same way when I lost my son. My husband was more reluctant to try immediately. He was still dealing with the trauma of almost losing me as well. So it took a while for him to become comfortable with it (6 months or so). I was on fertility friend daily, multiple times even. I even convinced my doctor to help me speed things up and gave me Clomid. After two empty cycles, I conceived on my own.

In hindsight, waiting for husband to get ready, and 3 cycles of trying was worth the wait. It really helped put things in perspective, properly deal with my grief (so that I was sure I didn't want a baby to replace the one I lost, but because I was truly ready), and to help my body physically heal from the ordeal. Living in the waiting period, however, was absolute torture.

I have to say, right when I gave up on temping, charting, cervical fluid hunting was when I got pregnant.