by brismom » Wed Apr 27, 2011 08:45 am
I have been given the green light by many specialists and did indeed get pregnant in Jan. only to miscarry on my birthday in Feb. I found out on Monday and by Friday I miscarried. Just within those few days, I was crazy. I tried to relax and thought it's going to be a long 9 months with that mental outlook. Then... I realized I think I need professional help again. I wanted to come across to my husband as being tough and ready to take it on without fear but inside I was scared to death. Ever since my HELLP 9 years ago, I have been afraid of anything medical, including blood tests, doctor visits, hospitals,and getting my blood pressure taken. I would dread it because I feared it would be super high again. It took a while for it to come down from HELLP. I still have nightmares about it. If we are going to TTC again then I need to get myself together better. When I don't think of trying, I am relaxed and when I think of being pregnant again I get scared, though I want to. It's a huge catch 22. I know I need to be strong and relaxed for a healthy pregnancy. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and fibromyalgia to begin with - not a good place to start. But... I also do alot of yoga now to help with all that and it does. I think I will give my counselor a call. She did help me in the past. Good luck to you guys!