tough time with Mother's Day

[kerisue]

I have been having a bad week missing Millie a lot and just realized that it's probably because of Mother's Day coming up this weekend. I came across the card my mother gave me last Mother's Day (little did I know then that I was going to give birth in a month!). The card said, "just think how much we'll have to celebrate next mother's day!" Well next mother's day is this mother's day and instead of celebrating with everyone else I'm sad and without my baby who should be a happy healthy 7 mos. old (had she been born when she should have been). Yes, I know I'm a mother regardless, but I'm a childless mother with not much to celebrate. Am I the only one who is struggling with this?

[cmccaffrey]

I am right there with you. We announced our pregnancy a few weeks before mothers day to our parents last year, so we got all sorts of little books and cards. This year will seem so unfair and lonely. My husband is out of town too and our whole family lives out of state... I don't know what I am going to do with myself. I guess I will go to church and then go to sleep until Monday when DH comes home. One of my friends is about to deliver her baby (she is also naming her baby Mason)... I bet she will have her baby on Mothers Day and that will be like salt in the wounds. Sorry... I should be more uplifting, but I am pretty bitter when I spend so much time alone. I know we are mothers... just no one else can see us that way because our babies are out of sight and out of their minds.

[flori]

You're definitely not the only one, Kerisue. Seeing the Mother's Day balloons at the grocery store made me teary-eyed the other day. It's also rough seeing all of the commercials for Mother's Day gifts or gifts ideas with little kids giving their mommies presents. I was also planning to have my baby shower this Saturday, thinking it'd be fun to celebrate the whole weekend.

Last night my husband and I were out for a walk and he told me that his mom asked if he was going to do anything for me for Mother's Day. He said he was. I had to stop walking because I was crying so hard. I feel like I don't deserve to be called a mother.

[holly3372@msn.com]

Last mothers day my baby was just a week old. I was so hopeful of him getting well and coming home.I got many cards and gifts like baby boy charms and his initials. I sat in that nicu mothers day and it was so surreal.You are not alone,I have been having a very emotional week as well so far. I am so sorry for your pain,I know you miss Millie I know in our hearts we should all be with our sweet babies. It is very hard each day and each holiday but this one mothers day to people like us that lost their first and only baby is just painful. I am trying to figure out something to do to lift my spirits that day. I am thinking of you all and our babies. xo

[holly3372@msn.com]

Flori,I felt the same way until I read it from you.yes you do deserve to be called a mother.Gracie will always be your baby and you her mommy no matter what. xoxo

[fineolin]

I am so glad to see this thread. I am feeling the same way. Last year I announced to everyone on Mother's day that I was pregnant. I was exactly 12 weeks at the time. I was so happy. I felt so blessed. I feel so angry and alone right now. I am dreading this Sunday. I have made the decision that I will only call my mother and wish her a happy mother's day. She lives in Florida, so I can only give her a phone call. I just cannot bear to call my friends and family on this day. I am sorry, but, I feel that I am entitled to be selfish. I am not going to feel bad about not calling others. Its bad enough I do not know what I am going to do with myself. Its not like I can go to a restaurant or even watch TV. This whole thing, just SUCKS!!! I am so mad that I could scream. AHAHAHAH!!! OK, I feel better. Thank goodness I can come here and express my feelings.

[joker]

It's been almost 4 years since I lost Abby and I do now have my earthside girl too, but Mother's Day is still hard. I find that I just don't really feel like celebrating, that I would rather stay in bed and just watch mind numbing tv. Tune it out is what I like to do, but that just isn't so easy. Big hugs.

[m]

I agree with joker. Even with my one year old, Mother's Day makes me sad. People expect me to celebrate and I hate having to explain that I'm not going to do anything. I wish the whole thing would go away, but it's everywhere. I will be glad when it's over.

[uncskristy]

I am glad to see this thread as well. I am having a hard time right now too between Mother's Day and what would have been Cooper's first birthday. Last Mother's Day, I was clueless that I was developing PE and what was about to happen two weeks later. Its so unfair. I am so ready for June to get here.

[jean]

I am having a HORRIBLE time as well. Today just confirmed that I CANNOT be around babies. I have avoided them for the past year and a half. Today I was stuck in a store b/c my mom and I ran into a friend of hers with her daughter and her baby....I was so uncomfortable, I wanted to run away, and they didn't talk about him, but just being there...I couldn't handle it..I thought about excusing myself but didn't want to be rude. I toughed it out...while they had baby things in their shopping basket I had a memorial cross in mine. As soon as the conversation was done I fell apart. People can't understand that I just can't handle it. I'm fine when I'm not around other babies. Oh, and in closing they said "Happy Mother's Day", which I'm sure was aimed at my mom...but I just took the whole thing horribly. That's like a knife in the heart...happy mother's day...mother's day kills me...