by flori (225 Posts), Sat May 07, 2011 05:11 pm
I'm not too sure if Mother's Day is to blame or not, but yesterday I completely fell apart. I cried almost all evening. Up until then I had tried to stifle my tears and not think about things but I finally allowed myself to do so yesterday. I was left physically exhausted but somehow relieved. Today is more of the same. The guilt/loneliness/feelings of failure are all hitting me pretty hard again. In the middle of my tearfest the funeral home called to inform me that Gracie's death certificate is ready to be picked up. Get this, she said they're open tomorrow if I want to come by. I can't imagine a better way to spend my first Mother's Day.
My MIL is taking her mother to dinner and she invited me and dh. We will go, but I'm sure I'm going to burst into tears at some point during the meal.
(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) to all the mommies out there.
Mommy to Gracie- born at 25 weeks 03/15/11, 11 inches, 1.1lbs, and absolutely beautiful. Became my sweet angel the next day.