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HELLP at 22 weeks- lost baby

Have you suffered from HELLP syndrome or had a pregnancy complicated by an underlying disorder? Discuss your concerns here

HELLP at 22 weeks- lost baby

Postby Nadenet1229 » Tue May 17, 2011 08:56 pm

by Nadenet1229 (41 Posts), Tue May 17, 2011 08:56 pm

I was having a good first time pregnancy, which is why I am so lost and confused. I had elevated blood pressure about a year ago, but it seemed to be due to my high stress level at work. Once I left that job, I never had one elevated reading. My husband and I found out we were pregnant on January 6th and we were beyond excited. I knew about preeclampsia from a co-worker who suffered from it and had to deliver her baby at 30 weeks. So, I was always worried about blook pressure. But, every visit my blood pressure reading was beautiful. About 19 weeks along I had a sneak peak ultrasound and found out I was having a boy. But, the tech had leaned over and asked me if I drink a lot of water. I told her I aim to drink 4 to 5 16 oz bottles a day. She nodded and said nothing else. She was only a tech that worked at the place, so she couldn't really tell me anything. I had my anatomy scan with my actual doctor a week and a half later and the tech in her office said my amniotic fluid was extremely low and I was dehydrated. I was about 20 weeks at this time. I was told to drink a minimum of 80oz a day, and that my baby was measuring 11oz, which was perfect along with my due date. I drank lots of water for a week and came back in one week later because I hadn't felt my baby move for three days. They did another ultrasound and my fluid was still really low. They sent me home and said my doctor would review everything and call me in the morning. Next morning my doctor called and asked me questions and I told her I had a spot that would randomly cross my vision and that morning I had throw up because I thought I had tried to drink to much water in one sitting. She told me to go into the ER. I was put in triage for several hours and told that I was severely dehydrated. They hooked me up to IVs and told me I have to drink atleast 2 gallons of water a day. My blood pressure was slightly elevated but went down when I got the IVs. I assumed I had just been stressing out. I went home that evening and felt a lot better, but they gave me a 24 hour jug for a protien test. Come 3 days later, I was feeling very bad and just happened to take my blood pressure. The cuff I had at home was small so when it said 164/117 I thought it was wrong. I went to the store, bought a new one, and sat around to relax for about 20 minutes. My husband was leaving for work in just literaly minutes with the only car we had and I would have been home alone for the night if I hadn't noticed I was feeling bad. My blood pressure in both arms was 174/129. The funny thing was that I only felt bad, like in a bad mood, but that was it. No nausea, no vomiting. Not even a headache. I normally got slight headaches if my bp was just slightly up. So this was so surreal. My husband and I thought maybe I just needed meds, but that was not the case.

The high risk doctor, whom I had just two days before scheduled an appointment with for later that week, was there that night. They did labs and she came in and started asking me questions about a family history of lupus or clotting disorders. Then she told me that the only reason they were not deciding to deliver my baby right that minute was because I mentioned a history of elevated bp before. I was only 21 weeks and 5 days. She said my labs were pointing to something not good and more than likely I would have to deliver my baby. My husband and I cried our eyes out. Then within a 24 hour period my liver enzymes shot up and my platelets dropped fast. They were originally thinking that maybe I had some blood disease or something with everything, but then I was told that I was having HELLP syndrome. I turned toxic within 24 hours. But, I didn't feel any pain, nothing physical. My face, within 18 hours swoll up so bad that my family couldn't recognize me. I was so broken, wondering how I had all this but didn't know. The doctor came back and said they were worred for me in the worst way and to save my life they had to deliver me. My normal ob came in and had to tell me that since my platelets had literally plummetted, I could not have an epidural and I swear she looked ready to cry for me. She didn't want me to have any more pain. I was given morphine, but that only relaxes the rest of your body so you only feel contractions. In a way I am happy because if for any reason I can't have kids, atleast I know what it really feels like to give birth. They had done a quick ultrasound and told me that baby was measuring only 12 oz, which 2 and a half weeks prior he was measuring 11 and his heart rate that was always 170 to 180 was below 150. My pregnancy was terminating itself. My cervix had even already started to shorten. I gave birth to my sweet little angel on 5/11/11 at 3:13 AM, with not heartbeat. He went peacefully, I can be thankful for that, but God I miss him so much. They let me stay with the body, but I asked for them to bring it back the next day when I had no morphine in my body. The staff was extremely nice and even came to visit me off clock. My family and my husband's family took up the whole waiting room. The high risk ob also wants me to go in and do this big blood test that will take 16 vials of blood to run a check for Lupus and other conditions. I wasn't released from the hospital until Saturday because my bp wasn't stabalizing but when it finally went down enough, still elevated but not to an extreme, my doctor let me go. Told me she thought I would feel better at home and she was right. I am taking bp meds now and wondering if it will ever be normal again.

My son's funeral is tomorrow and my husband and I are just lost. We know we will try again if I get the clear at some point in the future. But now I am so scared this will happen again. My doctors were blind sided that it happened so early in the pregnancy, it wasn't something she had dealt with for over 20 years now. She looked like she blamed herself but really.. by the time we knew what it was, it was too late. There wasn't anything we could do. It was only after researching that I realized that the low amniotic fluid was the first sign and at that point baby stopped developing. My OB said that if I get pregnant again, not to worry, I will be seeing her AND the high risk doctor and they will monitor the * out of my whole pregnancy. I'm still scared out of my mind. I have been told some women have it, then don't have it again. But then I know some who had it with all of their pregnancies. I am so scared, but my husband and I want a baby so bad. We dated for 8 years before we got married to make sure we werent rushing. We got married 9/11/10 and were pregnant by December, right before my 28th birthday.

I guess.. I keep looking for stories of women have successful pregnancies.. or any sort of breakthrough. Anything... just something to make me feel like I wont feel like this for the rest of my life.
Mother to Joseph Lovelace Touchet Jr born on 5/11/11 at 22 weeks due to Preeclampsia and HELLP. Born straight into God's arms. Love you my angel.
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Re: HELLP at 22 weeks- lost baby

Postby kerisue » Tue May 17, 2011 11:17 pm

by kerisue (623 Posts), Tue May 17, 2011 11:17 pm

I am heartbroken for you, your husband, and your sweet little boy. I too was forced to give birth and my little girl didn't make it either. I felt lost, devastated, and crushed by grief too. You have a long road ahead of you, but I know you will find some support here- unfortunately there are a lot of us who have lost our babies to this disease.
Mama to Millie
born June 2010 @ 24 wks. gestation due to my severe PE and CHF
lived 25 days, loved and missed
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Re: HELLP at 22 weeks- lost baby

Postby dja » Wed May 18, 2011 01:06 am

by dja (895 Posts), Wed May 18, 2011 01:06 am

I am so sorry for your loss. I wanted to write to say that I lost my baby girl when she had to be delivered at 21 weeks, 5 days due to severe PE and me having elevated liver enzymes. This was truly the hardest moment of my life, to lose my sweet daughter. I was able to go on to a second pregancy with additional medical help and the second time around was successful. My son is now 6 years old. Best wishes to you during this sad time.
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Re: HELLP at 22 weeks- lost baby

Postby Lee2011 » Wed May 18, 2011 04:40 am

by Lee2011 (30 Posts), Wed May 18, 2011 04:40 am

Just wanted to send long distance hugs - to you and your hubby. I hope you find the support you need both here and everywhere.
Mother to baby boy Lee born 12/3/2011 after emergency induction at 38weeks following diagnosis of severe atypical HELLP syndrome. Having come within hours of losing both our lives every smile is a celebration.
Baby sister Paige c-sectioned at 38 weeks with no signs of HELLP :)
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Re: HELLP at 22 weeks- lost baby

Postby angieb » Fri May 20, 2011 01:36 pm

by angieb (1192 Posts), Fri May 20, 2011 01:36 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had HELLP at 23 weeks with our daughter and she passed away shortly after she was born. My case was a bit different from yours, my blood pressure was always normal but I had severe upper right quadrant pain for a few weeks before I was diagnosed and our daughter had severe growth restriction (I also had low fluid at the time of delivery).

I just delivered our rainbow baby 3 weeks ago, I was on lovenox and low dose aspirin for most of the pregnancy even though I don't have a clotting disorder, my high risk doctor felt like I got so severely sick so early and so quickly the first time, especially with our daughter's growth restriction factored in, she felt like the benefits outweighted the risks. I didn't get sick at all this pregnancy and was very closely monitored. (I also blogged most of my pregnancy, there's a link in my signature if you are interested, though it might be tough to read so fresh after your loss.)

Anyway, if you have any questions feel free to email me or ask here. I'm so sorry you have to be here but this is a great forum for answers and support.
Me (29) DH (30)
#1-Olivia Caetlyn-9-28-09-9-28-09, 23+2 wks, emergency classic c-section, class I HELLP, IUGR
#2- Lucas Oliver (rainbow baby)- April 2011, 36+2 wks, HELLP and pre-e free! (lovenox and LDA pregnancy)
#3-Matthew, late October 2012...mostly normal, 37 wks, (lovenox and LDA again)
My blog: http://www.butterflies-and-rainbows.blogspot.com/
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Re: HELLP at 22 weeks- lost baby

Postby Nadenet1229 » Fri May 20, 2011 09:01 pm

by Nadenet1229 (41 Posts), Fri May 20, 2011 09:01 pm

I am hearing more and more about using aspirin the second time around. ..

Thank you for sharing your story and link. I know when we try again, the only source of comfort I can give myself is to get as much information and research as possible. I have started searching up sucess stories, to help me feel like I won't be a childless mother for the rest of my life. I am not angry about what happened, but I am just... very sad. Very very sad. My little one was so tiny and I have his sweet little face stuck in my head. Sometimes I cry but I find comfort in the thought that he didn't suffer at all. He went peacefully. I just feel at a loss, without feeling him move inside me anymore.

I will certainly read your blog when I am feeling a little more stronger emotionally. I am happy for you and happy to hear that things went well. It gives hope to people like me.
Mother to Joseph Lovelace Touchet Jr born on 5/11/11 at 22 weeks due to Preeclampsia and HELLP. Born straight into God's arms. Love you my angel.
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Re: HELLP at 22 weeks- lost baby

Postby sam10 » Fri May 20, 2011 09:31 pm

by sam10 (1441 Posts), Fri May 20, 2011 09:31 pm

I am so sorry you had to experience HELLP and the loss of your baby. Nothing ever felt as devastating as losing our sweet little Henry, only a week after he was born.
I hope you'll find comfort with your family and friends to get back onto your feet. These forums were a blessing for me, because it helped so much not to feel so alone with what had happened. There are no guarantees that another pregnancy will be PE/HELLP free, but I find it helpful to be armed with knowledge and the best doctors as my main medical support. I wish you all the best (hugs).
~Julija (40)
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
Henry (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
Matilda (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE


Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/
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Re: HELLP at 22 weeks- lost baby

Postby peich » Thu Jun 09, 2011 01:19 pm

by peich (2 Posts), Thu Jun 09, 2011 01:19 pm

I am so sorry to hear about your loss and am sending lots of prayers for your family during this heartbreaking time. Nothing about this is easy, let alone trying to make sense of it. I, too, am struggling with the same situation and it is so hard to not have a straight answer as to why this happened, more specifically, why me?

On April 13, 2011, at 23 weeks, we lost our baby girl due to severe hellp in a story very similar to yours. This was our first pregnancy and we were definitely blind sided by the outcome. I had never even heard of hellp. The onset was sudden for me as well, going into the drs for a normal appointment with just complaints of nausea and chest pains (thinking I was a wuss with heartburn). I never thought I was in severe danger, nor did I think I would be leaving 4 days later, without my child, from the hospital! Some days I still can’t believe that the whole situation actually happened!

We want a baby more then anything in the world, but we too are completely terrified of this situation happening again. Like you, I am constantly searching Hellp syndrome recurrence success stories looking for something, anything, to keep my faith up that we will be able to have the family we want some day. Since April, all of my numbers (platlets, enzymes, etc.) have gone back to where they should be, which is definitely good news. I am currently taking an iron supplement and prenatals that have a high dose of folic acid and calcium. I am scheduled to have an ultrasound in a month to check everything internally as well as more blood work to see if there are any other underlying issues that would be of concern if/when I would get pregnant again.

In the meantime, know that you are not alone in this situation and it is okay to be a mix of emotions at this time. I know, easier said then done, right? At least 2 of my close friends are pregnant and one just had a baby this past month. I keep trying to pretend that all of their good news doesn’t affect me, but deep down it still hurts so bad. Unfortunately it will take time. I just keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. I’d like to think that our little girl was sick and this happened to so she wouldn’t suffer….

Anyways, I most definitely understand what you are going through….it does get better each day.
Please know that if you need anything feel free to contact me. ☺
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Re: HELLP at 22 weeks- lost baby

Postby Nadenet1229 » Thu Jun 09, 2011 02:36 pm

by Nadenet1229 (41 Posts), Thu Jun 09, 2011 02:36 pm

The women on this site are wonderful and I am so happy that I stumbled across it. I know it was for horrible circumstances, but I have been dealing with this better since coming to this site. I comfort myself with research and knowledge, and though nothing is definite and this disease is still a puzzle, I still feel better armed with any kind of knowledge available. I too had a battery of blood test done for autoimmune diseases and what not, but all came back normal. Which is good. My son was born with severe cleft palate, which in some cases is a sign of chromosonal defects. My doctor told me that he is 98% positive that it was a developmental/chromosone defect that cause this situation, but since I didnt do any lab work on baby he can't tell me 100%. But, I just wanted my baby to be at peace.

I just have to thank all of you out there who are brave enough to share your stories, compassionate enough to feel a fallen mother, strong enough to help someone else get through it. Thank you.
Mother to Joseph Lovelace Touchet Jr born on 5/11/11 at 22 weeks due to Preeclampsia and HELLP. Born straight into God's arms. Love you my angel.
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Re: HELLP at 22 weeks- lost baby

Postby Jessica8872 » Wed Nov 02, 2011 01:37 am

by Jessica8872 (6 Posts), Wed Nov 02, 2011 01:37 am

I am new here and have been reading many posts about experiences with PE and HELLP syndrome, but this post struck close to home. My situation was very similar to yours, and I am feeling many of the same things you are feeling, or hopefully by now, are not feeling anymore. I am a healthy person who eats healthy and takes a ton of vitamins every day. I was so careful in my first and only pregnancy and it was going so well- not even a day of morning sickness- until I was hit with PE and HELLP. It is a very difficult situation to overcome...I am still recovering from my ordeal (I was diagnosed on Mon 10/10/11, delivered, and was out of the hospital by Friday 10/15), and I am still trying to wrap my head around what the heck just happened to me. I feel confused, hurt, sad...and the list goes on. I feel especially confused about my future. At first, I was adamant about not ever getting pregnant again, and risking this to happen to me and my future baby. I already nearly died, and I gave birth to a stillborn baby, so why would I want to chance that happening again? I am lucky to be alive today. I can't imagine how selfish it would be of me to get pregnant again, and next time, not only lose another baby, but die. Then what? Then I've left behind a husband and family. What good will have come out of that? But then the other part of me wants to research the heck out of this horrible disease, get my blood tested, get pregnant, and fight it. I don't want to live my life a childless mother. I'm a teacher...I take care of other people's children all day (most of whom live in poverty, so you can just imagine what goes through my head when I think of those children's home lives)...I would love to have my own babies to care for. Is this normal to feel so conflicted about having children immediately after surviving PE and HELLP? My poor husband refuses to give up on me and our future with children, so he still clings to the hope and the research. I'm the one who keeps going back and forth with the idea of getting pregnant again. I know I have a long road ahead, but I'm wondering - am I the crazy one?!?

I am so glad to have found another person/people who have gone through such a similar situation. My Dr. told me she's been doing this for 9 years and I'm the earliest patient she's ever diagnosed with PE and HELLP (I was diagnosed at 21 weeks 4 days but had symptoms-severe stomach pain- from 20 weeks 4 days)- and that makes me feel alone in this battle. Even by reading some of these posts, I felt there were still few women out there who've been through this so early in their pregnancy. I'm certainly not glad that anyone has ever had to go through something so terrible as PE and HELLP and the loss of their child (I wish no one ever had to endure this kind of pain), but I do find comfort in knowing I'm not alone, and there are other women out there who I can relate to and talk to about this.

Thanks for listening. =)
Jessica (26)
Christopher Lee, stillborn October 12, 2011 @ 22 weeks due to severe pE and HELLP
Our first and only sweet angel
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