by m (140 Posts), Thu May 26, 2011 00:32 am
Some members of my husband's extended family sent a houseplant to our son's memorial service. This was over two years ago and I just recently got up the courage to tell my husband that I despise this plant. It has to be watered frequently or it gets very droopy and I feel like it's this constant, looming, demanding thing which forces me to think about our horrible loss at times when I might otherwise not be focusing on it. I have hated having it around ever since we brought it home. Hubby is kind of attached to it, mainly because it was from his family, I think. So when I told him that I really want to get rid of it he said he would think about it. Now, weeks later, I brought it up again and he said to do whatever I want, but I think he's not completely on board with getting rid of it. So I can't decide what to do. I really hate even looking at it, so having him water it isn't a great solution. I have already put it away in a spare room since it's "mildly toxic" to children and DD likes to put everything in her mouth. It seems like most of the people on the boards like to keep pictures and mementos displayed in their homes and would treasure something like this, but that's just not for us. I have a chest full of things that I saved, but it's just too painful for me to keep things out.
Another thing about the plant. These family members would have had to drive about 8 hours to attend the service. I know that's a long drive, it was on a Monday which was a holiday, so I was kind of surprised that some of them didn't come. I haven't told Hubby this, but I feel kind of resentful that they didn't come. I'm sure that if one of the older children in the family died, there would be no question that every family member would attend the memorial. I know I really need to get over this, but I can't help feeling this way.
I hate that I'm wasting so much energy worrying about this stupid plant. I really, really want it to go away, but I don't know if it's the right thing to do since my husband seems to want to keep it. I have a close friend who would re-home it for us somewhere that I wouldn't have to see it again. Then we wouldn't have to throw it away. I think he would feel better about that.
Somebody please tell me I'm not crazy to hate a plant!
DS 2/5/09 - 2/13/09; severe PE at 28 weeks
DD March 2010; PIH, preterm labor at 36 weeks, 10 days NICU