Becky, I'm so glad you found us but sorry you had to! I know a lot of our members - including me - can relate to your struggle with wanting another child but being terrified of getting sick again. It sounds like you've already done what we suggest - meet with an MFM for a preconception consult and get as healthy as possible before getting pregnant again.
Our Experts have said that *in general*, after developing severe disease at 28-36 weeks, recurrence rate is about 40%. That means 60% chance of NOT getting sick again. http://www.preeclampsia.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=331
Did your MFM have more specific ideas about your chances? Did she/he have a plan for how your next pregnancy would be monitored? Subsequent pregnancies can be nerve-wracking even when everything goes perfectly, so I think having doctors you trust can make all the difference.
I'm sorry your doctors in your first pregnancy didn't give you the care you hoped for, but just to clarify, bedrest and medication are often prescribed by doctors, but the research says neither prevents nor slows down preeclampsia. Here are a few links from our Experts -viewtopic.php?f=19&t=10150&p=58244viewtopic.php?f=19&t=5467&p=58231http://www.preeclampsia.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1081
and a very good member discussion from a few years ago - viewtopic.php?f=28&t=12455
Bedrest can decrease protein spillage because of the position change - if I'm understanding right gravity puts less stress on your kidneys when you're laying down. Bedrest can also decrease blood pressure because of the decreased physical demands on the body (though not always - I think somewhere in the thread above Caryn mentions her bp was 220/110 on hospital bedrest). However, blood pressure and protein spillage are just symptoms of the underlying damage, and the underlying damage continues regardless of how the symptoms appear - and in your case, it sounds like your bp got very high and your protein was likely bad as well despite two weeks of bedrest!
Many women on these boards report staying pregnant for many weeks while on bedrest, so I do hope that someday the research will figure out if those experiences are just coincidence or if bedrest is actually affecting the underlying disease. It is also possible that bedrest might help certain women and not others, but so far the research has not made a distinction.
As for medication, blood pressure medicine is prescribed if bp gets to a level that is dangerous for the mother - lowering bp to decrease risk of stroke or other organ damage. Doctors have to be careful, though, because decreasing bp can decrease the amount of blood that gets to the baby. I really like this article that discusses the use of antihypertensives in pregnancy -http://hyper.ahajournals.org/content/51/4/960.full "Of note, with antihypertensive treatment, there seems to be less risk of developing severe hypertension (risk ratio: 0.50, with a number needed to treat of 10) but no difference in outcomes of preeclampsia, neonatal death, preterm birth, and small-for-gestational-age babies with treatment."
Sorry for throwing so much information at you, but I don't want you to think that you could have done something "better" in your last pregnancy to keep from getting so sick.
Best wishes on working through your fears of being pregnant and sick again - we'll be here to (virtually) hold your hand no matter what you decide!