A Bitter Vent

[uncskristy]

I am a part of another Mommy forum that is a local website. Since Cooper passed away, I find myself reading it less and less because some of the topics there just seem so trival. Today I just read one where someone was whining about her 4 year old had a book read to him about dinosaurs and how they are extinct, so of course the four year old has questions about dying now. The responses where along the lines of "oh no child should be told about dying", "I can't believe someone told about the dinosaurs extinction" and "how sad for you that you are having to field those questions". A huge part of me wants to post an response saying something about how about being honest with the child, quit being whinny about having to teach your child about life and imagine how it would be to be in my shoes explaining this for over a year now to a three year old. I don't think I am going to respond to the post because I am afraid anything that I post will come across as witchy and bitter. Sorry for venting to all, I am just having a bad day.

[cmccaffrey]

OMG! I hate it when something like that pops up on mommy forums or even when someone posts about how they hate hearing about miscarriages/ infant deaths. It infuriates me. Of course no one wants to talk about it, but it needs to be discussed. I wish that I had been a little bit more prepared for the possibility of losing a baby. Not everything is sunshine and rainbows!!! If you did decide to post a response, I would mention something about getting a book that explains death from whatever religious or scientific beliefs their family follows. I'm a teacher and that's what I always suggest to parents when kids are asking tough questions. Anyways, I definitely been the woman that posts bitter/sad stuff on those forums. I just cannot tollerate some of those people and their stupidity!

[kerisue]

Yes, people have NO IDEA how trivial their issues are compared to losing your child forever and having to explain that to another child. (and yet I tell myself that these are important issues to them and I shouldn't trivialize that either.) Probably a good idea not to post. I've even held myself back on this site sometimes for the same reason (not for those in grief and loss of course)

[riehlism]

I actually saw a youtube video of a woman's pregnancy vlog. She was complaining about how her doctors check her BP every time and her urine every time and basically resigned to believing that they were doing it for the money. I really wanted to defend the providers, but it's not my battle to fight. Or my brother in law who has two beautiful boys but gets really annoyed when they start to cry. There are so many of us here who are fighting to take a baby home, or trying to get pregnant again (a hardship in itself) only to be faced with fears of preeclampsia.

It really is pretty annoying from our shoes.

[sam10]

I am no friend of sweeping topics under the rug just b/c they are uncomfortable, nor do I believe it is necessarily a good thing to overwhelm people or children with things they are not asking about. But if topics come up, they NEED to be explained and discussed, all just age appropriate. Oh, I wish I could whine about something mundane like sleepless nights and stinky diapers, the extinction of dinosaurs.....
If you feel the need to respond to this post, you can draft it and re-read it the next day, and if you still feel like posting it, go ahead. Even though this seems to be an endless battle, it might make you feel better.