I'm sorry you did not feel supported on your son's anniverary. The special days are hard enough without the hurt of being forgotten.
I think that woman is crazy. There is no hierarchy of grief. You know what loss feels like because you lost your son. You know what it feels like to grieve the untimely death of a child.
My loss is no more or less profound because of the number of days I got to spend with my daughter. I love her and miss her. Grief and loss of a loved one can't be quantified and compared. My daughter's death feels like my miscarriage which feels like the death of my friend which feels like the loss of a friendship and on and on. I don't understand why it is so hard for people to understand.
Amy, mom to almost 5
Quinn, 4/28/06, no complications
Lou, 5/8/09, no complications
Rosie, 3/13/11-3/29/11, eclampsia at 27 weeks and then died from NEC
Sara, 5/3/12, no complications other than an obscene amount of monitoring
Baby #5 due in 2/15