I wish I could same something to help you feel better. It's been 1 year and 8 months since we lost our precious little boy. I still have some hard days but I think I finally made it to a place where I have accepted that this horrible thing happened in my life and I know that I am able to deal with it. I still miss him and think about him every day but I don't have that devastated feeling all the time any more. Some close friends who lost their daughter in a car accident 6 months before our loss told us that "you have to let it go." For a long time I thought for sure that I could NEVER, EVER do that, and I can't say for sure that I really have or ever will. But, I do think that you can get to a point where you accept that your baby was here for a short time and is now gone and you have the rest of your life to live. If nothing else can motivate you to move forward in your grief journey, do it for your kids. Part of what you're feeling is probably due to the drastic change in hormones you experience after a hysterectomy. If you don't see an improvement soon, I would encourage you to talk to your doctor about it.
DS 2/5/09 - 2/13/09; severe PE at 28 weeks
DD March 2010; PIH, preterm labor at 36 weeks, 10 days NICU