I am so very sorry to hear about your loss and that you had come home without your little boy. It is very tragic and traumatizing and takes time and strength (that we sometimes feel, we'd never have). At the moment it might feel overwhelming and that the pain will never lessen. It will get easier over time. Be gentle towards yourself and your family and allow yourself to grieve. My husband and I found it helpful to seek professional counseling, which helped us especially during the first months to come to terms with our situation. I'll keep your family in my thoughts.
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011Henry
(1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeksMatilda
(Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE
Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/