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greiving again???

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greiving again???

Postby frogibe » Tue Oct 25, 2011 07:54 pm

by frogibe (327 Posts), Tue Oct 25, 2011 07:54 pm

Ok, I'm not sure how to explain this...but here it goes. I should be the happiest person right now. We have a beautiful little girl sleeping upstairs right now that I know I am so blessed to have and all I can think about is her sister and how much I miss her and how unfair it is that she is not here!!! I am angry all over again at PE! It has been almost two years since our first daughter passed and during my second pregnancy I was a wreck worrying about losing another daughter...I felt great for a few weeks after having her but now I sit here at almost 3 months PP and I just want to cry for my first born who I miss sooooo much. It is so hard to deal with this while trying to take care of my second daughter...I don't want her to feel any of my negative feelings...(just had to vent)!
Jennifer(27) Chronic Hypertensive
mommy to Kelsie born 1-10-10 from severe pre-e and HELLP at 28wks.
grew her wings on 2-14-10 due to NEC.
and to Josephine born 8-4-11 at 35wks. due to low amniotic fluid, but PE and HELLP FREE!!!! I kicked PRE-E in the behind!!!!!
Surprise! We are expecting #3 in April 2013
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Re: greiving again???

Postby m » Tue Oct 25, 2011 11:00 pm

by m (140 Posts), Tue Oct 25, 2011 11:00 pm

I had a similar experience after my daughter was born and I even posted a similar topic: viewtopic.php?f=14&t=38985
I received lots of replies from people who felt the same way. I was so happy to have her, but at the same time it seemed to hit me all over again that I was missing all of those baby moments with my son. I had a really hard time for quite a few months. Just when I started to feel better I also went on Zoloft to treat my PMS and I started feeling much better. I was reluctant to try Zoloft because I felt that I needed to work through my emotions. But, I desperately needed it to treat my PMS and it really helped with those symptoms. As a positive side effect, I feel mostly back to my normal self the rest of the time too. My loss is always with me, and I still have some hard days but I am able to function normally and enjoy my daughter and I don't worry about negative effects on her because I am not so emotional all the time. I think that this long after your loss, if you're feeling stuck you should look into something - whether it's medication, counseling, support groups or whatever. I understand what you're going through, and I can assure you - it is possible to be happy again.
DS 2/5/09 - 2/13/09; severe PE at 28 weeks
DD March 2010; PIH, preterm labor at 36 weeks, 10 days NICU
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Re: greiving again???

Postby frogibe » Wed Oct 26, 2011 05:52 am

by frogibe (327 Posts), Wed Oct 26, 2011 05:52 am

Thanks. I was on Zoloft after losing my daughter. I remained on it during my second pregnancy and I recently just stopped taking it. I felt like I didn't need it any longer...now I am not so sure?....If these feelings do not get any better I will be going back on for a while. I feel comforted to know that I am not the only one to feel this way.
Jennifer(27) Chronic Hypertensive
mommy to Kelsie born 1-10-10 from severe pre-e and HELLP at 28wks.
grew her wings on 2-14-10 due to NEC.
and to Josephine born 8-4-11 at 35wks. due to low amniotic fluid, but PE and HELLP FREE!!!! I kicked PRE-E in the behind!!!!!
Surprise! We are expecting #3 in April 2013
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frogibe
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Posts: 327
Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2010 10:57 pm
Location: Illinois

Re: greiving again???

Postby holly3372@msn.com » Wed Oct 26, 2011 06:20 pm

by holly3372@msn.com (478 Posts), Wed Oct 26, 2011 06:20 pm

This made me cry. Yes,grieving again. Although I have not gone on to have another pregnancy/baby I have listened to the women that have. They all tell me your exact words. I can't imagine it wouldn't be that way sometimes. Hang in there. Love to you xo
Benjamin Spider Reeves born 4-28-2010( 1lb 6oz 26 weeks to severe pre-e and Iugr) we lost you after 4 long months in the NICU. You fought so hard,and were so brave.Our first baby .We miss you everyday and love you forever xo

Expecting ,dreaming, and hoping for our baby Girl sometime in January 2013
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Re: greiving again???

Postby angieb » Sat Oct 29, 2011 12:04 am

by angieb (1192 Posts), Sat Oct 29, 2011 12:04 am

We went through that too. I got through it ok without meds but I can see how that could be helpful or necessary for some people- there is a lot going on with your hormones and then caring for a new baby AND add grief to that- it's a lot!I felt like my focus through my next pregnancy was so wrapped up in making it through it with a living baby,sometimes my grief was put on the backburner, and so once my pregnancy was over, everything I had been bottling up came out.

In any case, what you are feeling is definitely normal.
Me (29) DH (30)
#1-Olivia Caetlyn-9-28-09-9-28-09, 23+2 wks, emergency classic c-section, class I HELLP, IUGR
#2- Lucas Oliver (rainbow baby)- April 2011, 36+2 wks, HELLP and pre-e free! (lovenox and LDA pregnancy)
#3-Matthew, late October 2012...mostly normal, 37 wks, (lovenox and LDA again)
My blog: http://www.butterflies-and-rainbows.blogspot.com/
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Re: greiving again???

Postby uncskristy » Mon Oct 31, 2011 09:16 am

by uncskristy (170 Posts), Mon Oct 31, 2011 09:16 am

I totally understand where you are coming from. I am having moments like this as well. I have to believe that it is normal. I can not imagine the grieving and Pain will ever end but as long as we do not allow the Pain to engulf our lives we should be fine.
Kristy
Mommy of Three Boys- Davis 10/4/2007(No PE, overbaked at 40wks, 2 days),
Cooper 5/20/2010-5/21/2010 (born too early at 24wks, 2 days due to severe PE) and
Blaine 10/11/11 (35wks, 6 days, mild but quick moving PE)
Wife to Matthew since 6/11/2005
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