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Missing Molly

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support

Re: Missing Molly

Postby uncskristy » Sun Nov 27, 2011 07:49 pm

by uncskristy (171 Posts), Sun Nov 27, 2011 07:49 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. Molly is so beautiful. I would like to say the pain lessens but it is more that you learn to function with the pain. No one should ever have to lose a child. While I hate that you or anyone has to find this forum I hope by realizing that you are not alone and there are a bunch of us who understand.
Mommy of Three Boys- Davis 10/4/2007(No PE, overbaked at 40wks, 2 days),
Cooper 5/20/2010-5/21/2010 (born too early at 24wks, 2 days due to severe PE) and
Blaine 10/11/11 (35wks, 6 days, mild but quick moving PE)
Wife to Matthew since 6/11/2005
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Re: Missing Molly

Postby MissingMolly » Sun Nov 27, 2011 11:10 pm

by MissingMolly (41 Posts), Sun Nov 27, 2011 11:10 pm

Thank you all for your sweet words, and I'm sorry for your losses as well.

There are little moments when I feel okay because I know that Molly will always be my baby, and I will cradle her in my heart forever--so in that sense, she's always with me.

But then there are days like today, when I'm full of tears and pain and longing. I didn't know her for very long, but I love and miss her with an intensity that is astounding and consuming.

I would never put the same responsibility or blame or recriminations on anyone here the way I do on myself. Even though I know intellectually that there wasn't anything I could have done to change things (which is a very frustrating thought in itself because how am I going to prevent it from happening in the future?), I still feel like I failed to protect my child.

I miss her so, so much. My beautiful, innocent, precious girl. There will never be another Molly. Ever. And that is just heartbreaking.
Mommy to Molly, who was born alive on Oct. 29, 2011 at 23+3 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia/HELLP syndrome and passed away 3 hours later. Loved and missed every minute of every day...."If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."
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Re: Missing Molly

Postby Angel11611 » Thu Dec 01, 2011 03:42 pm

by Angel11611 (3 Posts), Thu Dec 01, 2011 03:42 pm

I'm so sorry for your Molly, she is beautiful, I too lost my little girl @ 30wks & 5Dys to a Placenta Abruption a few weeks ago.. here's my story.. This was my first pregnancy and everything was going so great never had food cravings only had heartburn from time to time my weight was just right. This just happened on 11/6/11 I went to the dr on Halloween for a follow up as my feet had been getting a little swollen and dr sent to the the hospital to have my protein checked and it was high and they then said I had preeclampsia and high protein in my urine. Dr said be ready to have your baby by end of month @ 34weeks.. well i took the news well said to myself if i have to stay here for my safety and the babies health then so be it... things all week were going just fine my baby had just turned 30 weeks on 11/1 so dr was saying how everything is looking good with the protein Sunday morning nurses came in monitored babies heartbeat and then around 11:30 drs came in to do ultrasound and monitor the fluid around the placenta.. dr said enjoy your sunday we will see you again tomorrow if you need anything buzz your nurse.. off they went... had a coworker visit and we were talking she brought me a cute gift for the baby since she knew by end of month baby would be born.. Suddenly I felt the urge to pee and soon as I got up from bed I just bled... my coworker ran to get nurse and they came in a rush and then tried to hear the heartbeat and did an ultrasound and next thing i know I'm going in for a csection wake up and my family and husband are in the room only to be told my baby girl did not make it... She is so precious and beautiful and i cant understand how something so innocent could have been taken away from us. We had to bury her on Friday and i still feel i'm in a nightmare I cant wake up from....verything was fine on sunday morning till I was being wheeled to the ER... and everything till this day is a blur
I never in my 34 yrs of wildest dreams expect to bury my daughter. my very first Angel. I held her in the hospital and she looked so healthy she just needed to out on a few more pounds but she looked so beautiful. she looked so peaceful I am so devastated and i know my friends and family try to console us but they dont know why we are suffering unless they have experienced the same issue. My husband and I were looking so forward to being parents and its all we talked about. i have to keep faith and believe God would not put me thru the same pain.
I wish I had the right words to say but I do know what your feeling.. xoxo
Mommy to baby girl Angel born 30wks 5 days..Placenta Abruption 11-6-11
Love & miss her dearly!!!
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Re: Missing Molly

Postby » Sat Dec 03, 2011 09:58 pm

by (478 Posts), Sat Dec 03, 2011 09:58 pm

I am so so sorry you had to know this pain. Your story brought instant tears, I understand and can relate as many on here can to the shock,pain,and despair you are going through. I wish you peace and send you strength from a mother that has suffered loss to another. Please be easy with yourself,this is by far the worst thing any human being will ever go through and the grieving is different for everyone. Thank you for sharing your beautiful pictures of Molly. She will never be forgotten. xoxo
Benjamin Spider Reeves born 4-28-2010( 1lb 6oz 26 weeks to severe pre-e and Iugr) we lost you after 4 long months in the NICU. You fought so hard,and were so brave.Our first baby .We miss you everyday and love you forever xo

Expecting ,dreaming, and hoping for our baby Girl sometime in January 2013
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Re: Missing Molly

Postby MissingMolly » Tue Dec 06, 2011 02:30 am

by MissingMolly (41 Posts), Tue Dec 06, 2011 02:30 am

Thank you, holly3372, and I'm so sorry for your loss, as well as for yours, mom to Angel.

I struggle every day, whether it's with my sadness, anger, or guilt. I know these feelings will always be there--I guess it's just a matter of learning to live with them. I just miss my baby so much, and I keep wondering if it really had to happen the way it did. Since I can't go back and change anything I wonder if it's productive at all to think about it, but I do. One thing that makes me so sad and angry is that I feel like my baby was treated as if she were a throw-away baby. I don't know--I'm just so confused and overwhelmed by what happened. I try to understand, but I just don't. I just don't understand why my baby had to die.
Mommy to Molly, who was born alive on Oct. 29, 2011 at 23+3 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia/HELLP syndrome and passed away 3 hours later. Loved and missed every minute of every day...."If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."
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