Um, "Hi" amost 3 years later!!!

[caryn]

Well, never thought I'd come back here again. Thought I'd give an update on life after HELLP x 2.

I had HELLP in 2005 with my now 6 year old daughter. She was born at 29 weeks, 5 days. My Hellp was severe and I was put out under general and required a platelet transfusion. For my first baby, it was needless to say, stressful. 5 weeks later, I took my preemie home.

It took me 3+ years to TTC again, after underlying disorders tests and seeing a HELLP specialist, ******, who practices in my area. I tested - for all the disorders, got the go ahead, lost weight, took what he said to take (not aspirin, allergic) and got pg within 2 months. He told me I'd make it to 36 weeks. He was wrong. I was on bedrest at 21 weeks with HBP and put on meds. Within the next 8 weeks, I was hospitalized FIVE times, the fifth, I told them NOT to send me home again, and within 4 days or so, I developed HELLP AGAIN and was delivered at------- 29 weeks and 5 days to the day of my last delivery. I didn't need a transfusion this time, only got an epidural so I could be awake, and OVERALL, the delivery went smoother...the pregnancy though, was MUCH MUCH MUCH more stressful. Gage spent 5 weeks in the NICU.

So, here I am, 3.5 years later. Both kids are happy and MOSTLY healthy. Gage is still working on his preemie lungs. He gets frequent colds/infections. He also got a touch of asthma from his daddy which doesn't help matters. DH got a vasectomy a couple months after Gage was born at my request. I have been ok until.......today. I just lost 35 pounds on a new eating plan called Fat to Skinny Fast and Easy. I'm WELL under pre-preg weights and smaller than I have been since college---like 1998....crazy. At church today there was a tiny little precious baby girl. She was fussing and her grandpa had brought her out and I stopped to talk to her and she instantly stopped crying. I just wanted to bring her home LOL!!!! And then it hit me.....I can't have any more kids. So, I'm totally bummed ever since. I know it's CRAZY to even THINK about it, and I would never DO IT, but it's just sad I can't I guess. And adoption is basically off the table as far as DH is concerned......so---------blah. I am happy with the two healthy kids I have, I just wanna say, HELLP and PRE-E SUCK. And no one deserves to have their choices and happiness taken away.

[kristal1213]

I am happy to hear about your 2 healthy children. I know what you mean about wanting to have more kids. Really 2 is a lot to handle (for me) but the fact the it feels like the decision is not mine to make make me want it more.

You kiddos are adorable.

[moreheadcity]

I am happy to hear about your 2 healthy children. I know what you mean about wanting to have more kids. Really 2 is a lot to handle (for me) but the fact the it feels like the decision is not mine to make make me want it more.

You kiddos are adorable.

Exactly. If it were my CHOICE, I'd probably be MORE than satisfied with two LOL. They are a handful to say the least, even though, in my biased opinion, they are the most well behaved, best sleeping cutest kids around I guess baby-itis kicks in. I don't regret the vasectomy, and I even have NIGHTMARES that it fails if that tells you anything lol. Thanks for the compliment about my little turkeys I love them!

[caryn]

Your kids are so cute - and they look like they share the same smile.

I bet everyone who posts here has nightmares about birth control failure. Good to see you posting!

[moreheadcity]

Your kids are so cute - and they look like they share the same smile.

I bet everyone who posts here has nightmares about birth control failure. Good to see you posting!

Thanks! It took like 6 tries. One would smile, the other wouldn't and so on. So, I took this one b/c they were both at least LOOKING at the camera! They look so much alike, but he looks more like me (sometimes) and so much like his dad (sometimes!) Crazy how genetics work! Anna is her dad...period. Except she has my eyes/hair! When Gage was born, my sister said, "OMG he's got your toes!" And he does LOL.

[vickichiki]

Your kids are so cute It's amazing that such teeny tiny babies grow up to to be so big isn't it?

I had Pre-E and some borderline HELLP with my last pregnancy and here I am again almost about to give birth suffering the same again. I lost 20kgs which I think is about 45lbs or so and was going to the gym 4 days a week so heaps fitter before falling pregnant and like you was well under what I was pre-preg with either of my girls... well this is the worst pregnancy so far I am so much sicker, lots more symptoms and complications and worse BP so I don't know if that will be of any concellation to you but it seems that the weight loss may not be a factor.

[moreheadcity]

Your kids are so cute It's amazing that such teeny tiny babies grow up to to be so big isn't it?

I had Pre-E and some borderline HELLP with my last pregnancy and here I am again almost about to give birth suffering the same again. I lost 20kgs which I think is about 45lbs or so and was going to the gym 4 days a week so heaps fitter before falling pregnant and like you was well under what I was pre-preg with either of my girls... well this is the worst pregnancy so far I am so much sicker, lots more symptoms and complications and worse BP so I don't know if that will be of any concellation to you but it seems that the weight loss may not be a factor.

WOW. I'm so sorry you are going thru this Sadly, your suffering makes me feel more confident, so, thank you. I just don't understand why out of millions of women, we are one of the few in the handful that is unlucky with pregnancy SUCKS!!!!!!

[vickichiki]

I know exactly what you mean! I have just under 10 days before I meet my little boy and I toss from 'oh thank goodness I am so so sick' to 'ohhh this is the last time I will be pregnant I will miss it' I just wish I was able to enjoy pregnancy or even 'glow' like others get *sigh* it's ok though this is my lot in life (I'm sure you feel the same too) and I am just so very thankful for the beautiful kids that I have

[moreheadcity]

I know exactly what you mean! I have just under 10 days before I meet my little boy and I toss from 'oh thank goodness I am so so sick' to 'ohhh this is the last time I will be pregnant I will miss it' I just wish I was able to enjoy pregnancy or even 'glow' like others get *sigh* it's ok though this is my lot in life (I'm sure you feel the same too) and I am just so very thankful for the beautiful kids that I have

DITTO!!!!!!!!!!

[jgrumet]

Hey! I'm at 3 years now, too. My husband had a vasectomy, as well!

We adopted our second child from Ethiopia. He is amazing! My husband was really reluctant to adoptions for YEARS. He finally realized it was something that was right for him, too. This was a couple of years before we had our biological son. Since we were already planning on adopting and I had such a traumatic pregnancy, it was kind of a no-brainer that was the next step for us.

I'm so glad I was able to experience a pregnancy, even if it was really a scary scenario. And I'm extremely happy we adopted.

I understand your husbands reservations (and my husband REALLY understands them!)

If you ever want to talk about it, just let me know!